Ice Cream Jokes

As a drunk guy staggers out of the pussy club one Friday evening, a fire engine races past, siren wailing and lights flashing.
Immediately, the drunk starts chasing the engine, running as fast as he can until eventually he collapses, gasping for breath.
In a last act of desperation he shouts after the fire engine, “If that’s the wayyou want it, you can keep your fucking ice creams!”

Q. How do astronauts eat their ice creams
A. In floatsQ: How do you make a dinosaur float?
A: Put a scoop of ice cream in a glass of root beer and add one dinosaur!Q: What do you get from an Alaskan cow?
A: Ice CreamQ: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a bowl of ice cream by its diameter?
A: Pi a'la mode.

Baskin-Robbins has introduced political ice cream flavors, with the Obama flavor being "Whirl of Change" and the McCain flavor called "Straight Talk Crunch". Orders for third-party flavors will also be taken, and then thrown away.

A man approaches an ice cream van and asks, "I'd like two scoops of chocolate ice cream, please."The girl behind the counter replied, "I'm very sorry, sir, but our delivery didn't come this morning. We're out of chocolate.""In that case," the man continued, "I'll have two scoops of chocolate ice cream.""You don't understand, sir," the girl says. "We have no chocolate.""Then just give me some chocolate," he insists.Getting angrier by the second, the girl asked, "Sir, will you spell' van,' as in' vanilla?'"The man spells, "V A N.""Now spell' straw,' as in' strawberry.'""OK. S-T-R-A-W.""Now," the girl asked, "spell' stink,' as in chocolate."The man hesitates, then confused, replied, "There is no stink in chocolate.""That's what I've been trying to tell you!" she screams.

This is a weird but true story (with a moral). .. A complaint was received by the Pontiac Division of General Motors: "This is the second time I have written you, and I don't blame you for not answering me, because I kind of sounded crazy, but it is a fact that we have a tradition in our family of ice cream for dessert after dinner each night. But the kind of ice cream varies so, every night, after we've eaten, the whole family votes on which kind of ice cream we should have and I drive down to the store to get it. It's also a fact that I recently purchased a new Pontiac and since then my trips to the store have created a problem. You see, every time I buy vanilla ice cream, when I start back from the store my car won't start. If I get any other kind of ice cream, the car starts just fine. I want you to know I'm serious about this question, no matter how silly it sounds:' What is there about a Pontiac that makes it not start when I get vanilla ice cream, and easy to start more...