Iron Jokes / Recent Jokes
Never leave diskettes in the drive, as the data can leak
out of the disk and corrode the inner mechanics of the
drive. Diskettes should be rolled up and stored in
pencil holders.
Diskettes should be cleaned and waxed once a week.
Microscopic metal particles may be removed by waving a
powerful magnet over the surface of the disk. Any
stubborn metal shavings can be removed with scouring
powder and steel wool. When waxing a diskette, make sure
the surface is even. This will allow the diskette to
spin faster, resulting in better access time.
Do not fold diskettes unless they do not fit into the
drive. "Big" Diskettes may be folded and used in "Little" drives.
Never insert a diskette into the drive upside down. The
data can fall off the surface of the disk and jam the
intricate mechanics of the drive.
Diskettes cannot be backed up by running them through a
photo copy machine. If your data is going to more...
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:On a Sear's hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....)On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time)?On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after more...
A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears,"Ribbit. 9 Iron" The man looks around and doesn't see anyone. "Ribbit. 9 Iron." He looks at the frog
and decides to prove the frog wrong, puts his other club away, and grabs a 9 iron. Boom! He hits it 10 inches from the cup. He is shocked. He says to the frog, "Wow, that's amazing. You must be a lucky frog, eh?" The frog reply's "Ribbit. Lucky frog." The man decides
to take the frog with him to the next hole. "What do you think frog?" the man asks. "Ribbit. 3 Wood." The guy takes out a 3 Wood and Boom! Hole in one. The man is befuddled and doesn't know what to say. By the end of the day, the man golfed the best game of golf in his life and asks the frog,"OK, where to next?" The frog replied, "Ribbit. Las more...
Yo Mama is so fat she had to iron her clothes on the 405 freeway!!!!!
Editor's note: Not to ruin the joke, but it might be a bit offensive, especially to those sensitive to women and violence issues. Thus endeth the Warning.
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There was a Women's Rights Meeting, and all the Women who had been "liberated" previously were planning on getting together and discussing their various successes.
An English woman stood up and said, "After our last meeting, I went straight home and told my husband that I was not going to cook for him any more, I am not here just to serve him, and he better start pulling his own weight. After the first day, I could not see any changes, after the second day, still could not see anything, after the third day, he cooked a meal, it was not the best thing I have tasted, but it was a start, and now, 6 months later I am getting gourmet meals all the time."
An American woman stood up, and said, " After our last meeting, I went straight home, and told my husband that more...
The captain called the batsman into his room.' We've got some very tough matches coming up,' he said,' and I wanted to talk to you because we need someone with an Iron nerve, a strong constitution and great skill in the side.
That's why I'm asking you to resign.'
A young man is playing golf with a priest. At a short hole the priest asks, "What are you going to use on this hole son?"
The young man says, "An eight iron, father. How about you?"
The priest says, "I'm going to hit a soft seven and pray."
The young man hits his eight iron and puts the ball on the green. The priest tops his 7 iron and dribbles the ball out a few yards.
The young man says, "I don't know about you father, but in my church when we pray, we keep our head down."