Jehovah Jokes / Recent Jokes
Did you hear about the lawyer who was solicited to be a Jehovah's Witness?
He refused because he didn't see the accident but said he would be interested in taking the case.
I can' think of anyone actually making this up... Before starting a band, you should know that the following names are taken:
[ a ]
Alcoholocaust
Alcoholics Unanimous
Armageddon Dildos
[ b ]
Biff Hitler and the Violent Mood Swings
The Band Formerly Known As Sausage
Band Over
Barbara's Bush
The Bourbon Tabernacle Choir
The Boxing Ghandis
Brady Bunch Lawnmower Massacre
Bulimia Banquet
Buster Hymen & the Penetrators
[ c ]
Caltransvestites
Cindy Brady's Lisp
[ d ]
The Dancing French Liberals of 1848
The Dead Sea Squirrels
Dicky Retardo
Drunks With Guns
[ e ]
e. coli
Electric Prostates
Elvis Hitler
[ f ]
Fearless Iranians From Hell
Fields of Shit
'57 Lesbian
The 4-Skins
Four Nurses of the Apocalypse
The French are from Hell
Fromage d'Amour
[ g ]
Gefilte Joe and the more...
Biblical Questions and Answers
Q. Who was the greatest financieer in the Bible?
A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.
Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he got married?
A. Ruth-less.
Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury.
Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land.
Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. Honda... because the apostles were all in one Accord.
Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. 2 Cor. 48 describes going out in service in a Volkswagen Beetle: "We are pressed in every way, but not cramped beyond movement."
Q. more...
Q. Which servant of Jehovah was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible? A. Moses. Because he broke all 10 commandments; at once.
Did you hear about that guy who was asked to be a Jehovah's witness? - He refused becuase he hadn't seen the accident.
I'm a 3rd generation Cantonese-American and have pretty much forgotten the language. Hey, I wasn't even raised with it spoken in my household, but I live in a predominantly Asian neighborhood anyway. Well, Mormons, whom we all know and love(*cough*), have to save their money during childhood so that they may go on missionary expeditions when they hit seventeen years of age or so. Some even become Urban Mormons, where they trek to distant(?) parts of Suburbia, seeking converts. So, one day, there was a knock at my door. So upon answering, Lo! And Behold! Who should be standing there, but two young, aspiring Jehovah's Witn-... I mean, Mormon Missionaries. Both were Caucasian, and one was holding a copy of Halston's Mandarin/English Dictionary. The Mormon holding the dictionary greeted me in a foreign language, presumably Mandarin, which I didn't understand. However, I chose to say nothing; I merely furrowed my brow and intensified my gaze. Astute, as they were, the missionaries were more...