Kentucky Jokes / Recent Jokes

Question:
What is a Kentucky Virgin?
Answer:
A really ugly seven year old girl who can run faster than her older brother.

STATE OF KENTUCKY RESIDENCY APPLICATION Name: ________________ (_) Billy-Bob (last) (_) Billy-Joe (_) Billy-Ray (_) Billy-Sue (_) Billy-Mae (_) Billy-Jack (Check appropriate box) Age: ____ Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ N/A Shoe Size ____ Left ____ Right Occupation: (_) Farmer (_) Mechanic (_) Hair Dresser (_) Un-employed Spouse`s Name: __________________________ Relationship with spouse: (_) Sister (_) Brother (_) Aunt (_) Uncle (_) Cousin (_) Mother (_) Father (_) Son (_) Daughter (_) Pet Number of children living in household: ___ Number that are yours: ___ Mother`s Name: _______________________ Father`s Name: _______________________ (If not sure, leave blank) Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed) Do you (_)own or (_)rent your mobile home? (Check appropriate box) __ Total number of vehicles you own __ Number of vehicles that still crank __ Number of vehicles in front yard __ Number of vehicles in back yard __ Number of vehicles on cement blocks Firearms you own and where more...

Any person who appears on any highway, or upon the street of any city that has no police protection, when clothed only in ordinary bathing garb, shall be fined no less than five dollars nor more than twenty-five dollars." - KRS 436. 140 (Passed in 1922; Repealed in 1974) No person shall sell, exchange, offer to sell or exchange, display or possess living baby chicks, ducklings, or other fowl or rabbits which have been dyed or colored; nor dye or color any baby chicks, ducklings or other fowl or rabbits; nor sell, exchange, offer to sell or exchange or to give away baby chicks, ducklings or other fowl or rabbits, under two months of age in any quantity less than six, except that any rabbit weighing three pounds or more may be sold at an age of six weeks. Any person who violates this section shall be fined not less than $100 nor more than $500. -KRS 436. 600 (Passed 1966 Ky. Acts ch. 215, sec. 5.) No person owning or controlling a billiard or pool table shall permit, for more...

What has a woman got in common with a box of Kentucky Fried Chicken? Once you get past the tender breast and the juicy thigh, all you're leftwith is a greasy box.

Two Kentucky psychology majors were walking through the campus. "Do you consider a 1441. Q. high?" "Yes!" "For the whole basketball team?"

In North Carolina, it is against the law to use elephants to plow cotton fields.
In New York City, one is forbidden from shooting rabbits from the back end of a Third Avenue streetcar when it is moving.
In Kansas, people cannot shoot rabbits while in a motorboat.
In Statesville, North Carolina, it is against the law to race rabbits in the streets.
In Tuscumbia, Alabama, no more than eight rabbits can reside on the same block.
A law in Detroit, Michigan, prohibits crocodiles from being tied to a fire hydrant.
Donkeys are not allowed to sleep in bathtubs in Brooklyn, New York.
In Baltimore, Maryland, it is necessary to document any services performed by a jackass.
In Ohio, it is against the law to set a fire under your mule if it balks.
In Arkansas, if your 2-year-old mule runs wild and is unclaimed within 2 days, anyone may castrate the animal.
In Marshalltown, Iowa, a horse will be breaking the law if it eats a fire more...

Dear Son:
I'm writing this slow cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when' you left. Your dad read in the paper where the most accidents happen within twenty mile of home, so we moved. I wont be able to send you the address as the last Kentuckian family that lived here took the number with them so the wouldn't have to change their address.
This place has a washing machine. The first day 1 put four shirts in it, pulled the chain, and haven't seen'em since. It only rained twice this week, three days the first time. and four days the second time. The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt Sue said It would be a little to heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons on, so we cut`em off and put`em in the pockets. We got a bill from the funeral home said if we didn't make the last payment on Grandmas funeral bill, up she comes. Your father, he has a lovely new job. He has over 500 men under him. He's cutting grass at the cemetery. Your sister had a more...