Kentucky Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: How do you get the entire state of Kentucky into the Ohio River?
A:. .. throw in a quarter.
Q: How do you get the entire state of Kentucky *out* of the Ohio River?
A:. .. throw in a bar of soap.

Many years ago a Kentucky grandmother gave a new bride the following recipe for washing clothes....

1. Bilt fire in backyard to heat kettle of rain water.
2. Set tubs so smoke wont blow in eyes if wind is pert.
3. Shave one hole cake of lie soap in bilin water.
4. Sort things, make 3 piles. 1 pile white, 1 pile colored, 1 pile work britches and rags.
5. To make starch, stir flour in cool water to smooth, then thin down with bilin water.
6. Take white things, rub dirty spots on board, scrub hard, and then bile. Rub colored, don't bile, just rinch and starch.
7. Take things out of kettle with broomstick handle, then rinch, and starch.
8. Hang old rags on fence.
9. Spread tea towels on grass.
10. Pore rinch water in flower bed.
11. Scrub porch with hot soapy water.
12. Turn tubs upside down.
13. Go put on clean dress, smooth hair with hair combs. Brew cup of tea, sit and rock a spell and count your more...

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Kentucky!
Kentucky who?
Kentucky come out to play! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Kentucky!
Kentucky who?
Kentucky too well, have a sore throat!

One day there was a knock on the Pope's office door.
When he answered it, the salesman said, "Hello, my management team would like to discuss a proposal with you." After taking a seat in his office, the salesman said, "I am with Kentucky Fried Chicken. We would like to offer you a contract to the church if you can change the Lord's blessing from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'daily chicken'."
The Pope said, "I'm sorry we just cannot do that." The salesman went back to his office where he discussed the outcome of the meeting.
He returned to the Pope's office a week later with the same proposal, only he had upped the bid to 4 million. The Pope gently declined, again.
The next week he came again and offered the Pope an offering of 10 million.
The Pope said, "Let me think it over."
The Pope then called a meeting with the elders of the church and said, "Well gentlemen, I have good news and bad news. Kentucky Fried more...

Kentucky: Two men tried to pull the front off an ATM cash machine by running
a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of
pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off
their truck. Scared, they left the scene and drove home. With the chain still
attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to the chain. With
their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper.

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Kentucky!
Kentucky who?
Kentucky too well, have a sore throat!

Q. Why are women like Kentucky Fried Chicken?
A. After you've finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.