Knickers Jokes / Recent Jokes
The newlyweds are in their honeymoon room and the groom decides to let the bride know where she stands right from the start of the marriage. He proceeds to take off his trousers and throw them at her. He says, "Put those on."
The bride replies, "I can't wear your trousers."
He replies, "And don't forget that! I will always wear the pants in the family!"
The bride takes off her knickers and throws them at him with the same request, "Try those on!"
He replies,"I can't get into your knickers!" "And you never bloody will if you don't change your attitude."
The middle-aged wife had just returned to the house on Saturday afternoon after a shopping trip. She was quite agitated, and proceeded to tell her husband about a certain shoe salesman who had been rude.It seems she was sitting down while he helped her try on various shoes, and happened to glance up and notice that she was not wearing any knickers under her dress. Without even thinking, he just blurted out, "If that thing was full of ice cream, I'd eat every bite."Well, she was understandably insulted, and now wanted to know what her husband was going to do about it.The husband just sat there, watching football on TV, and grunted. The wife became hysterical, and insisted on knowing why he didn't go down to the shop and punch the rude salesman right in the nose."Well", the husband replied, "There are three reasons I won't punch that guy in the nose. First of all, you shouldn't have even been shopping for shoes, since you have a whole wardrobe full of them. more...
There's a big trade in skunk fur at the moment so two ladies are on holiday with the intention of smuggling a couple of skunks back home. They're discussing how they're going to conceal them to get through customs.
"I can put it down my knickers as surely no one will search there." says one of them.
"Yes but what about the smell?" asks her friend.
"Hey, if it dies it dies."
Apparently all British Airways planes have been grounded today after it was found that all the air hostesses had at least a four inch crack in them.
Martina Navratolova was held at Heathrow today after customs men found a pound of crack in her knickers.
one day a girl was walking home from school when she ran into a teenager he said to her that if she climbed over the fence and then back over again he would give her $5 so she did. later on after she went home she showed her mum the money
mum: where did you get that from
girl: a boy told me that if i climbed the fence hed give it to me so i did
mum: oh u silly child he just wants to look at your knickers.
The nxt day the girl walked the same way home and the boy told her again except for $10 dollars so she did.
later on when she got home her mum asked her where she got it from she replied
girl: the boy told me that if i climbed the fence he would give me $10 so i did
mum: oh you foolish child he just want to see your knickers girl!
the next day this happened again but for $20 the girl went home to show her mum and her mum said
" on you silly girl i have told you time and time again that he just wants to see your knickers, when will you more...
A bloke goes into a pub.
The barmaid asks what he wants.
'I want to put my head between your tits, and lick the sweat off,' he replies.
'You dirty bastard!' shouts the barmaid, 'Get out before I get my husband.'
The bloke apologizes and says he will never do it again.
The barmaid, disgusted, accepts his apology and asks what he wants again.
'I want to pull down your knickers, spread cottage cheese between your arse cheeks and lick it off,' he replies.
'What???' screams the barmaid, 'That's it! You're barred, you dirty, filthy, perverted bastard, get out now.'
Once again the bloke apologizes, and says he will never, ever do it again.
'Right. I'll give you one last chance,' says the barmaid. 'Now, what do you want?'
'I want to turn you upside down, fill your pussy with Guinness and drink it all out of you.'
The barmaid starts crying and runs upstairs to her husband, who is sitting down watching the telly.
'What's up, love?' says the more...