Lesson Jokes / Recent Jokes

Corporate Lesson # 1

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I`ll give each of you just one wish."
"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk.
"I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She`s gone.
"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep.
"I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He`s gone.
"OK, you`re up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.


Corporate Lesson # 2

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him, "Can I also more...

A pastor was giving the children's message during church. For this part of the service, he would gather all the children around him and give a brief lesson before dismissing them for children's church. On this particular Sunday, he was using squirrels for an object lesson on industry and preparation. He started out by saying, "I'm going to describe something, and I want you to raise your hand when you know what it is." The children nodded eagerly."This thing lives in trees (pause) and eats nuts (pause)..." No hands went up. "And it is gray (pause) and has a long bushy tail (pause)..." The children were looking at each other, but still no hands raised. "And it jumps from branch to branch (pause) and chatters and flips its tail when it's excited (pause)..."Finally one little boy tentatively raised his hand. The pastor breathed a sigh of relief and called on him. "Well," said the
boy, "I KNOW the answer must be Jesus...but it more...

A middle-aged couple got into a crowded Delhi bus. The husband gallantly gave the one free seat to his wife and found himself behind a well-stacked college girl. He took advantage of every jerk and turn to impress his person on the lass's posterior. The girl did not want to create a scene and kept quiet. His wife also suffered the spectacle in silence. As fate would have it, all three disembarked at the same stop. And no sooner were they out of the bus, the girl turned round and gave the man a tight slap across his face.' How dare you pinch my bottom? You should be ashamed of yourself,' she screamed.' But, but, but,' stammered the man,' I did not pinch your bottom.'
'No, he did not,' intervened the wife.' I did. I saw what he was doing and wanted you to teach him a lesson. Dhanyavaad'

A husband and wife love to golf together, but neither of them areplaying like they want to, so they decide to take private lessons. The husband has his lesson first. After the pro sees his swing, hesays, "No no, no, you're gripping the club way too hard!" "Well, what should I do?" asks the man. "Hold the club gently," the pro replied, "just like you'd hold your wife's breast." The man takes the advice, takes a swing, and POW" He hits the ball250 yds. straight up the fairway. The man goes back to his wifewith the good news, and the wife can't wait for her lesson. The next day the wife goes for her lesson. The pro watches herswing and says, "No, no, no, you're gripping the club way too hard." "What can I do?" asks the wife." Hold the club gently, just like you'd hold your husband's penis." The wife listens carefully to the pro's advice, takes a swing, andTHUMP. The ball goes straight down the fairway.. . about 15 more...

School test
During a maths lesson at school, the teacher points to little Benny and asks, "Benny, what’s 3 percent?"
Benny sits for a while shaking his head and then replies, "You’re right Miss, what’s 3 percent?"

Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I `ll give you $800 to drop that towel," After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.


Lesson 2:
A priest more...

A carload of hunters, looking for a place to hunt, pulled into a farmer's yard. The driver went up to the farmhouse to ask permission to hunt on his land.
The old farmer said, "Sure you can hunt, but would you do me a favor? That old mule over there is 20 years old and sick with cancer, but I don't have the heart to kill her. Would you do it for me?
The hunter said, "Sure" and headed for the car.
Walking back, however, he decided to pull a trick on his hunting buddies. He got into the car and when they asked if the farmer said it was OK, he said, "No, we can't hunt here, but I'm going to teach that old cuss a lesson."
With that, he rolled down his window, stuck his gun out and blasted the mule. As he exclaimed, "There, that will teach him!"
A second shot rang out from the passenger side and one of his hunting buddies shouted, "I got the cow!!!"