Madonna Jokes / Recent Jokes

Horrified children would rather remain in foster system.

The average person is about a quarter of an inch taller at night.[Another quarter inch doesn't impress most women.]A sneeze zooms out of your mouth at over 600 m. p. h.[Along with everything else in your mouth at the time.]The condom - made originally of linen - was invented in the early 1500s.[That same year men began asking, "Put that on my WHAT?" ]The first known contraceptive was crocodile dung, used by Egyptians in 2000 B. C.[Does this explain Crocodile Dung Dee?]Watch out for flying hockey pucks - they travel at up to 100 mph.[Stand clear or you'll get pucked.]America's first nudist organization was founded in 1929, by 3 men.[3 very lonely men.]98% of American drivers think they drive better than anyone else.[The other 2% are NY cab drivers who know better.]When he's feeling amorous, the male sea otter grabs the female's nose with his teeth.[When the female feel amorous, she grabs something else.]In 1681, the last dodo bird died.[He was 41 and his name was also Fred.]A more...

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Madonna.
Madonna who?
Madonna's being mean, tell her off.

The most famous person
Moishe got a new job with a firm of Accountants. One afternoon in the second week, he entered Martin Lewis’s office and declared: "Boss, I know everybody in the world."
Obviously, Martin didn`t believe him and replied, "Everybody in the whole world?" Moishe said, "Yes sir, and you can choose anyone, and I will prove it." After a moment, Martin said, "I bet you don`t know Madonna." Moishe said, "I talk to her very often by e-mail, and what`s more we`ve had dinner together. Now we are friends."
Martin decided to uncover the ruse, so he bought 2 tickets to Hollywood and they went to Madonna`s house. Madonna personally opened the door. She opened her arms and said, "Oh Moishe, what a surprise! Come in, you and your friend." They spent a very nice afternoon there. But Martin wasn`t convinced. He thought that it could just have been a coincidence, so he said, "How about President more...

White House Denies Trying to Change Subject from War in Iraq

Will also talk about:
- The weather we've been having.
- The big game.
- Any good books he's read lately.
- What's the deal with Madonna?

He will be sent back before Madonna can file for the right to adopt him.

Madonna has been named as the highest earning woman in pop music. In second place was Elton John.