Marijuana Jokes / Recent Jokes

The new law will allow people to use marijuana to ease the pain from things like cancer, AIDS, and life in New Jersey.

The phone rings at FBI headquarters. “Hello? ”
“Hello, is this FBI? ”
“Yes. What do you want? ”
“I’m calling to report my neighbor Tom. He is hiding marijuana in his firewood. ”
“This will be noted. ”
Next day, the FBI comes over to Tom’s house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept, break every piece of wood, find no marijuana, swear at Tom and leave.
The phone rings at Tom’s house. “Hey, Tom! Did the FBI come? ” “Yeah! ” “Did they chop your firewood? ” “Yeah they did. ” “Okay, now it’s your turn to call. I need my garden plowed. ”

There's never been a macho "Acapulco Man" advertising campaign.
You don't see groups of stoners huddled around office building doorways in the rain.
No toothpastes are available to "get rid of embarassing THC stains on your teeth."
The "Spliffs Annual Tennis Classic" didn't happen this year.
There are no Senators who identify themselves as being from "marijuana states."
No drug kingpin (or other CEO) has lied before Congress about the addictiveness of marijuana.
Uh... wow, what was the question again?
Clinton has definitely inhaled tobacco.
You'll never, ever find the end of a marijuana cigarette on a sidewalk or in a public toilet.
... and the Number One difference between marijuana and tobacco:
Five years imprisonment and a $50,000 dollar fine!

The phone rings at FBI headquarters. "Hello?"
"Hello, is this the FBI?"
"Yes. What do you want?"
"I'm calling to report my neighbor, Adrian Johnson! He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood."
"Thank you very much for the call, sir."
The next day, the FBI agents descend on Johnson's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana.
The phone rings at Johnson's house. "Hello?"
"Hey, Adrian! Did the FBI come?"
"Yeah!"
"Did they chop your firewood?"
"Yep"
"Great, now it's your turn to call. I need my garden plowed."

The phone rings at FBI headquarters.
"Hello? I'm calling to report my neighbor, Clifford. He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood!"
"Thank you very much for the call, sir."
The next day, FBI agents descend on the neighbor's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swear at the neighbors and leave.
The phone rings at the neighbors house. Hey, Clifford, did the FBI come?"
"Yep."
"Did they chop your firewood?"
"Yep."
"Great, now it's your turn to call. I need my garden plowed."

The phone rings at FBI headquarters."Hello? I'm calling to report my neighbor, Clifford. He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood!""Thank you very much for the call, sir."The next day, FBI agents descend on the neighbor's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swear at the neighbors and leave.The phone rings at the neighbors house. Hey, Clifford, did the FBI come?""Yep.""Did they chop your firewood?""Yep.""Great, now it's your turn to call. I need my garden plowed."

The phone rings at FBI headquarters. "Hello? I'm calling to report my neighbor, Clifford. He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood!" "Thank you very much for the call, sir." The next day, FBI agents descend on the neighbor's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swear at the neighbors and leave. The phone rings at the neighbors house. Hey, Clifford, did the FBI come?" "Yep." "Did they chop your firewood?" "Yep." "Great, now it's your turn to call. I need my garden plowed."