Marketing Jokes / Recent Jokes

"As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday, and employees will receive their cards in two weeks."
(Microsoft Corp. in Redmond WA )
"What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might encounter."
(Lykes Lines Shipping)
"E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business."
(Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company)
"This project is so important we can't let things that are more important interfere with it."
(Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel Service)
"Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule."
(Plant Manager, Delco Corporation)
"No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been working on it for months. Now go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let you know when it's time to tell more...

Instead of Astrological Signs, how about these. . What’s Your Business Sign? 1) MARKETING You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least compatible with Sales. 2) SALES Laziest of all signs, often referred to as “marketing without a degree. ” You are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with customers so you can “concentrate on the big picture. ” You seek admiration for your golf game throughout your life. 3) TECHNOLOGY Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are instead content to completely control everything that happens at your workplace. Often even YOU don’t understand what you are saying but who the hell can tell. It is written that Geeks shall inherit the Earth. 4) ENGINEERING One of only two signs that more...

Instead of Astrological Signs, how about these .. What's Your Business
Sign?
Marketing
You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid
having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and
socializing which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now.
Least compatible with Sales.
Sales
Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing without a
degree."
You are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and
begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with customers
so you can "concentrate on the big picture." You seek admiration for
your golf game throughout your life.
Technology
Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are instead
content to completely control everything that happens at your workplace.
Often even YOU don't understand what you are saying but who the hell can
tell. It is written that Geeks more...

Astrology tells us about you and your future simply by your birthday.
The Chinese Zodiac uses the year of your birth. Demographics tell us
what you like, dislike, whom you vote for, what you buy and what you
watch on television.
Well, the Corporate Zodiac goes a step further: simply by your job
title, people will have you all figured out...
MARKETING: You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree
to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking
and socializing - which is pretty much what your job responsibilities
are now. Least compatible with Sales.
SALES: Laziest of all signs, often referred to as "marketing without a
degree", you are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls
you and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with
"customers" so you can "concentrate on the big picture". You seek
admiration for your golf game more...

Astrology tells us about you and your future simply by your birthday. The Chinese Zodiac uses the year of your birth.

Demographics tell us what you like, dislike, whom you vote for, what you buy and what you watch on television. Well, the Corporate Dilbert Zodiac goes a step further: simply by your department or job title, people will have you all figured out...
MARKETING You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least compatible with Sales.
SALES Laziest of all signs, often referred to as' Marketing without a degree' you are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with customers so you can concentrate on
the big picture. You seek admiration for your golf game throughout your life.
TECHNOLOGY Unable to control more...

McDonnell Douglas
Aircraft/Space Systems/Missiles
PRODUCT REGISTRATION CARD
Dear Sir,
Important! Important!
Please fill out and mail this card within 10 days of purchase.
Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft.
In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments
to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the
survey questions is not required, but the information will help us
to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.

1. [ ]Mr.[ ]Mrs.[ ]Ms.[ ]Miss[ ]Lt.[ ]Gen.[ ]Comrade[ ]Classified
First Name _______________ Initial ___ Last Name ____________
Latitude ____________ Longitude ____________ Altitude _______
Password, Code Names, Aliases, etc. ___________________________
2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
[ ] F-14 Tomcat [ ] F-15 Eagle
[ ] F-16 Falcon [ ] F-19A Stealth
[ ] Classified
3. Date of purchase: more...

McDonnell Douglas
AIRCRAFT-SPACE SYSTEMS-MISSILES
Important! Important!
Please fill out and mail this card within 10 days of purchase
Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In
order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to
fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey
questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop
new products that best meet your needs and desires.
1. Name
Mr.
Mrs.
Ms.
Miss
Lt.
Gen.
Comrade
Classified
Other
First Name
Initial
Last Name
Latitude
Longitude
Altitude
Password, Code Name, Etc.
2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
F-14 Tomcat
F-15 Eagle
F-16 Falcon
F-19A Stealth
Classified
3. Date of purchase
Month Day Year
4. Serial Number
5. Please check where this product was purchased:
Received as Gift/Aid Package
Catalog more...