Meat Jokes / Recent Jokes

Mama goes shopping and scrutinizes everything. Here is how her shopping went..Mama: "I don't like the looks of this whitefish."Merchant: "Lady, for looks you don't buy whitefish; you buy goldfish."Mama: "Oy, and this chicken, it has a broken leg."Merchant: "Look lady, you gonna eat it or dance with it?"Mama: "And before you weigh the meat, take out the bones."Merchant: "Lady, I buy with bones; you'll buy with bones."Mama: "I don't pay with bones."Merchant: "All right, no bones."Mama: "Thank you, you are a gentleman. Now put the bones in a separate bag for soup. And never mind the meat. I don't like your meat anyhow."

A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, beelines for a butcher shop and steals a roast. Butcher goes to lawyer's office and asks, "If a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?" The lawyer answers, "Absolutely."
"Then you owe me $8. 50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today."
The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8. 50 [attorneys don't carry cash -- it's too plebeian -- and the butcher hadn't brought the shop's credit card imprinter to the lawyer's office].
Several periods of time later -- it could be the next day but that would be unrealistic -- the butcher opens the mail and finds an envelope from the lawyer: $20 due for a consultation.

Two fat Indian squaws are walking across a train bridge.
One says,"I got to pee" so she sqats down and pees.
She puts her hand over her mouth and stars to laugh, "heee".
The other one says,"hey, what so funny?"
"I just peed in a canoe full of moose meat."
The other sqaw says,"that's not moose meat, that's your reflection!"

These Four Guys Were Walking Down The Street, A Saudi, A Russian, A North Korean, And A New Yorker.
A Reporter Comes Running Up And Says, "Excuse Me, What Is Your Opinion About The Meat Shortage?"
The Saudi Says, "Excuse Me, What's A Shortage?"
The Russian Says, "Excuse Me, What's Meat?"
The North Korean Says, "Excuse Me, What's An Opinion?"
The New Yorker, Says, "Excuse Me? What's Excuse Me?

A number of years ago, a major meat packer wanted to do a promotional campaign
on radio. The idea was to have call-in contests on radio stations throughout
the country, and the winners would receive large supplies of sirloin steaks.
The researchers had to come up with a name for the contest. The report they
submitted read something like this.
After conducting market research, we have reached the
conclusion that the name "High Steaks" would be an
appropriate name for the contest. We base this conclusion
on interviews and surveys, and we are firmly convinced that
the majority of radio listeners will understand the
double entendre. The only city where we found a lack
of sophistication was Memphis, TN, and there we recommend
that you call the contest "Free Meat."

A father thinks his son and friend are gay. one day he goes to their room and hears one say' gimmee some of your man meat.'

the father bursts through and finds a human torso in a meat grinder and the two boys sitting at a table.

"Oh thank god" he says and walks out

Q; Whats the cheapest meat you can buy???
A; Deer balls, their under a buck!!!