Mechanic Jokes / Recent Jokes

A penguin is driving down the road when his car starts to give him all kinds of trouble...the engine sputters, steam pours out of his hood and there's fluids pouring out on the road. He pulls into a garage and the mechanic tells him it'll be at least a half-hour until he can even tell him what the problem is.

The penguin walks around, has a cup of coffee and then comes across an ice cream shop, where he orders a double vanilla cone, getting it all over his face. He goes back to the garage and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem.

The mechanic looks up and tells him' Looks like you've blown a seal.'

The penguin says' No! Really, I just had an ice cream cone!'

A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car,when he spotted the world-famous heart surgeon in his shop. The
heart surgeon was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his car. The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hello Doctor, please come on over here for a minute." The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic where he stood. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So doctor, look at this here. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind' em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work just like a new one. So how come you get the really big money, when you and I are doing basically the same work?" The doctor smiled, leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic"Try doing it with the engine running!"

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley
motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop.
The surgeon was there, waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike.
The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey, Doc, can I ask you a question?"

The surgeon a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take valves out, fix' em, put' em back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic...
"Try doing it with the engine running."

A blonde meets up with a friend as she's picking up her car from the mechanic." Everything ok with your car now?" "Yes, thank goodness," the blonde replies." Weren't you worried the mechanic might try to rip you off?" "Yeah, but he didn't. I was SO RELIEVED when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid!"

The helicopter lost power while flying over a remote Scottish island and was forced to make an emergency landing. Luckily there was a small cottage nearby. The pilot walked over to it and knocked on the door. "Is there a mechanic in the area?" he asked the woman who answered the door.She scratched her head and thought for a few seconds. "No," she finally said, pointing down the road, "but we do have a McArdle and a McKay."

A gynecologist decides to quit his job to fufill his life long dream of becoming a mechanic. He decides to take mechanic courses and he does so for a couple of months up until he must take the test. The test consists of taking apart a car's engine and putting it together perfectly for a score of 200.

He does his test and feels confident that he did well.

A week later he receives a call,

"This is your regarding your test," The man on the phone says.

"Yes, how did I do?"

"You got 400 over 200"

"400 over 200? how did I get that?"

"You got 100 for taking the motor apart perfectly."

"Ok"

"You got 100 for putting it together perfectly."

"So I got a perfect score? How did I get the other extra 200?"

The man hesitates and answers, "That's for doing it all through the muffler!"

A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off, I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn- signal fluid."