Missouri Jokes / Recent Jokes
As many as 11 million bottles of store-brand acetaminophen, the pain killer, were recalled by the manufacturer today because some of the caplets in the bottles are contaminated with metal fragments.
A worried Rush Limbaugh asked, "But OxyContin is still okay, right?"
This big-time rancher from Texas met a Missouri farmer on a business trip.
The Texas rancher bragged, "I can get in my truck, drive all day, and never cross the boundary of my ranch!"
"Yep," replied the little Missouri farmer, "I had a truck like that once, too."
Pillow talk in Missouri: Has sex been outlawed?
KANSAS CITY, Mo. (AP) - Birds do it. Bees do it. But Missourians aren't allowed to do it, according to some interpretations of a new state law.
"I don't know what they were trying to say, but I know that what they did say seems to outlaw sex altogether," said David Foster, director of the writing lab a the University of Missouri-Kansas City.
Others disagree. One legislator says it legalizes homosexual sex and outlaws nonconsensual sex. Another says it outlaws homosexual sex and nonconsensual sex.
The law, which took effect Aug. 28, says: "A person commits the crime of sexual misconduct in the first degree if he has deviate sexual intercourse with another person of the same sex, or he purposely subjects another person to sexual contact or engages in conduct which would constitute sexual contact except that the touching occurs through the clothing without that person's consent."
Attorney Dan Viets more...
Doctors have ruled out a possible heart attack--they thoroughly examined Limbaugh and could find no heart..
Rush Limbaugh was treated and released from an area hospital after complaining of pain. Doctors could find nothing wrong with the talk show host except for some minor back spasms, mild dehydration, and the fact that he is alive.
During a speech to commemorate D-Day, British Prime Minister Gordon Brown mispronounced "Omaha Beach" when he called it "Obama Beach". It may not have been a mistake, because he later referred to the "Battle of the Bulge" as "Dinner at Rush Limbaugh's House".