Morals Jokes

If electricty comes from Electrons, then morality must come from Morons.

An Arab has spent many days crossing the desert without finding a source of water. It gets so bad that his camel dies of thirst. He's crawling through the sands, certain that he has breathed his last, when all of a sudden he sees a shiny object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him. He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers that he has a Manischevitz wine bottle. It appears that there may be a drop or two left
in the bottle, so he unscrews the top and out pops a genie. But this is no ordinary genie. This genie appears to be a Hassidic rabbi, complete with black alpaca coat, black hat, side curls, etc.
"Well, kid," says the genie. "You know how it works. You have three wishes."
"I'm not going to trust you," says the Arab. "I'm not going to trust a Jewish genie!"
"What do you have to lose? It looks like you're a goner anyway!"
The Arab thinks about this for a minute, and more...

Once upon a time there was a little boy who lived in a house that had train tracks running behind it. The boy's father always warned him against playing around the train tracks, but boys will be boys so he often played around the tracks despite the warnings from his father.
One day, after playing by the tracks all afternoon, the tired and sat down on the tracks to rest. Before he knew it, a train came by, ran over his ass, and cut part of it off.
When the boy's father came home and discovered what had happened, he told the boy that not only would he have to go through the rest of his life missing part of his ass, that he was greatly disappointed in him for not heeding his warnings.
That night, unable to sleep, the boy laid in bed pondering about going through the rest of his life half ass and how disappointed his father was at him. Suddenly he had an idea. He went out to the tracks and began searching for the lost part of his ass. If only he can find it, he thought, I more...

Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.

Two bishops were discussing the decline in morals in the modern world.
"I didn't sleep with my wife before I was married," said one clergyman self-righteously, "Did you?"
"I don't know," said the other. "What was her maiden name?"