Mystery Jokes / Recent Jokes
Sardarji happened to participate in a competition, which was about writing the shortest story. The organizers had put a condition that a story must have four ingredients
Viz. Religion, ***, suspense and mystery.
Sardarji's turn came after many attempts by others. Sardarji gave a story, which was just one sentence and read:
"oh god, my wife is going to deliver a child".
Ostensibly amused, the organizers asked the sardarji whether it contained all the four ingredients! !
Sardarji replied affirmatively and gave his explanation as below:
Oh god: religion
My wife: ***
Going to deliver a child: suspense (whether a girl or a boy)
"okay.... But where is the mystery? " asked one of the organizers.
The sardar replied: who is the father? ?
Sardarji was declared the winner for writing the shortest story!
One mystery of life is how a two pound box of candy can make you gain five pounds.
How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to screw it in almost all the way in and the other to give it a suprising twist at the end.
A man had a ticket for the theater, but when he was seated by the usher, he found that he was too far back.
Turning to the usher, he said, "This is a mystery play and I have to watch a mystery close up. If you can find me a better seat, I'll give you a handsome tip."
The usher moved him to the third row and the man handed him a quarter.
The usher looked at the quarter, frowned at the man, then leaned over and whispered:
"The wife did it!"
A mystery-lover take his place in the theater for opening night, but his seat is way back in the theater, far from the stage. The man calls an usher over and whispers, "I just love a good mystery, and I have been anxiously anticipating the opening of this play. However, in order to carefully follow the clues and fully enjoy the play, I have to watch a mystery close up. Look how far away I am! If you can get me a better seat, I'll give you a handsome tip."
The usher nods and says he will be back shortly. Looking forward to a large tip, the usher speaks with his co-workers in the box office, hoping to find some closer tickets. With just three minutes left until curtain, he finds an unused ticket at the Will Call window and snatches it up. Returning to the man in the back of the theater, he whispers, "follow me."
The usher leads the man down to the second row, and proudly points out the empty seat right in the middle. "Thanks so much," more...
AEROPLANE BLONDE
One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.
AUSSIE KISS
Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.
BADLY PACKED KEBAB
A vulgar (but still excellent) term for the female genitalia.
BEER COAT
The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3 in the morning.
BEER COMPASS
The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after a booze cruise, even though you're too pissed to remember where you live, how you get there, and where you've come from.
BEER SCOOTER
The ability to get home after a night out on the booze and not remember it i.e."I don't even remember getting home last night, I must have caught the beer scooter".
BOBFOC
Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch.
BREAKING THE SEAL
Your first piss in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be required every 10 or 15 more...
A mystery-lover takes his place in the theater for opening night, but his seat is way back in the theater, far from the stage. The man calls an usher over and whispers, "I just love a good mystery, and I have been anxiously anticipating the opening of this play. However, in order to carefully follow the clues and fully enjoy the play, I have to watch a mystery close up. Look how far away I am! If you can get me a better seat, I'll give you a handsome tip."
The usher nods and says he will be back shortly. Looking forward to a large tip, the usher speaks with his co-workers in the box office, hoping to find some closer tickets. With just three minutes left until curtain, he finds an unused ticket at the will call window and snatches it up. Returning to the man in the back of the theater, he whispers, "Follow me."
The usher leads the man down to the second row, and proudly points out the empty seat right in the middle.
"Thanks so much." says the more...