Napoleon Jokes / Recent Jokes

Here is a collection of freshman history bloopers collected by a Canadian history professor (Anders Henrickson) over the years.
World War I broke out around 1912-1914. Germany was on one side of France and Russia was on the other. At war people get killed, and then they aren't people any more, but friends. Peace was proclaimed at Versigh, which was attended by George Loid, Primal Minister of England. President Wilson arrived with 14 pointers. In 1937 Lenin revolted Russia. Communism raged among the peasants, and the civil war 'team colours' were red and white.
Germany was displaced after WWI. This gave rise to Hitler. Germany was morbidly over-excited and unbalanced. Berlin became the decadent capital, where all forms of sexual deprivations were practised. A huge anti-semantic movement arose. Attractive slogans like "death to all Jews" were used by government groups. Hitler remilitarized the Rhineland over a squirmish between Germany and France.
The appeasers more...

ALEXANDER The Great, Julius Caesar and Napoleon were watching a military parade in Moscow. Alexander could not take his eyes off the tanks.' If I had chariots like these,' he said,' I could have conquered the whole of Asia.'
Caesar eyed the missiles and said,' With such arrows, I could have ruled the world.'
Napoleon glanced up from a copy of Pravda and said,' With a newspaper like this, no one would even have heard of Waterloo!'

It was the eve of battle, and the general was frightened. Thinking to shore up his courage by reading about the great generals of-the past, he picked up a book on Napoleon and learned that the great French leader wore a red uniform so his men wouldn't panic if he were wounded. Taking a leaf from Napoleon's book, the general summoned his orderly and immediately requested a brown uniform.

In a psychiatrist's waiting room two patients are having a conversation. One says to the other, "Why are you here?" The second answers, "I'm Napoleon, so the doctor told me to come here." The first is curious and asks, "How do you know that you're Napoleon?" The second responds, "God told me I was." At this point, a patient on the other side of the room shouts, "NO I DIDN'T!"

In a psychiatrist's waiting room two patients are having a conversation. One says to the other, "Why are you here?"
The second answers, "I'm Napoleon, so the doctor told me to come here."
The first is curious and asks, "How do you know that you're Napoleon?"
The second responds, "God told me I was."
At this point, a patient on the other side of the room shouts, "NO I DIDN'T!"

In the international school of Ireland, there is a very patriotic history
teacher.
One day, the teacher asked his students, "Who is the most important man in
the history of the world?" He then offered 2 shillings to the student who
gets the right answer.
A French student stands up and says, "Napoleon was the most important man
in the history of the world."
The teacher looked at him and said, "Napoleon was a great man, no doubt,
but he wasn't the most important man, or the man I'm looking for. Sorry, no
shilling for ya."
Then, an Italian student stands up and says, "Leonardo da Vinci was the
most important man in the history of the world."
The teacher looked at him and said, "Leonardo da Vinci was a great man
also, no doubt, but he wasn't the most important man, or the man I'm
looking for. Sorry, no shilling for ya either."
Then, a Jewish student stands up, out of no where and more...

PAUL REVERE'S MOTHER: "I don't care where you think you have to go, young man. Midnight is past your curfew!"

MARY, MARY, QUITE CONTRARY'S MOTHER: "I don't mind you having a garden, Mary, but does it have to be growing under your bed?"

MONA LISA'S MOTHER: "After all that money your father and I spent on braces, Mona, that's the biggest smile you can give us?"

HUMPTY DUMPTY'S MOTHER: "Humpty, If I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times not to sit on that wall. But would you listen to me? Noooo!"

COLUMBUS' MOTHER: "I don't care what you've discovered, Christopher. You still could have written!"

BABE RUTH'S MOTHER: "Babe, how many times have I told you -- quit playing ball in the house! That's the third broken window this week!"

MICHELANGELO'S MOTHER: "Mike, can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that more...