New York City Jokes / Recent Jokes

Assault charges against Kiefer Sutherland have recently been dropped. The Manhattan District Attorney said five more seasons of 24 would be punishment enough.

Cos even if you're a convicted felon you can still get your own TV show. Like Martha Stewart. I'm all about second chances but start slowly. Martha should've been forced to sell lemonade on the street corner for a few years and then work up to knitting pot warmers for friends on Manhattan Cable.

Police have evacuated The Wall Street Journal's mailroom after several envelopes were found to contain a suspicious white powder. Afterwards, several comedy writers were arrested for telling the same tired "cocaine reference" joke.

Fashion designers disagreed about how to dress this nude Italian woman

Mayor Bloomberg said that New York City will "collapse" if illegal immigrants are deported. He added, "Immigrants do the jobs that Americans won't and, like it or not, happy endings are a job."

An appeals court ruled NYC must pay a woman who was arrested for walking topless $29,000 in damages...in $1's.

David Blaine is performing his latest stunt here in New York City. He's spending a week inside a giant aquarium, breathing through a scuba mask.
Now, I'm not saying I could do that. I'm spent after 20 minutes in my Grandma's Jacuzzi.

I just don't think what he's doing is that cool.
You want to impress me, Magic Boy? Spend a week in a burning building. You can use your mask.