Nude Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two parents take their son on vacation and go to a nude beach. The father goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes to play in the water. Shortly thereafter, the boy runs to his mother and says, "Mommy, I saw some ladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!"
The mother cleverly replies, "The bigger they are, the dumber they are!"
With that, the little boy runs back into the water and continues to play. Several minutes later, though, the little boy runs back to his mother and says, "Mommy, I saw some men with dongs a lot bigger than Daddy's!"
"The bigger they are, the dumber they are!" she replies.
With that, the little boy runs back into the water and continues to play. Several minutes later, though, the little boy runs back to his mother and says, "Mommy, I just saw Daddy talking to the dumbest lady I ever saw and the more he talked, the dumber he got!"

Two parents take their son on vacation and go to a nude beach. The
father goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays in
the water. He comes running up to his mom and says, "Mommy, I saw
ladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!"
The mom says "the bigger they are, the dumber they are." So he goes
back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says,
"Mommy, I saw men with dingers a lot bigger than Daddy's!"
Mom says, "the bigger they are, the dumber they are." So he goes
back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says,
"Mommy, I just saw Daddy talking to the dumbest lady I ever saw and
the more and more he talked, the dumber and dumber he got!"

Two parents take their son on vacation and go to a nude beach. Thefather goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays inthe water. He comes running up to his mom and says, "Mommy, I sawladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!"The mom says "the bigger they are, the dumber they are." So he goesback to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says,"Mommy, I saw men with dingers a lot bigger than Daddy's!"Mom says, "the bigger they are, the dumber they are." So he goesback to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says,"Mommy, I just saw Daddy talking to the dumbest lady I ever saw andthe more and more he talked, the dumber and dumber he got!"

Alabama
• A 1950 anti-obscenity law in Irondale, Ala., prohibited any showing of anyone nude or "in a substantially nude state" except a babe in arms.
• Anniston: You may not wear blue jeans down Noble Street.
• An ordinance in Linden, Ala., provided that all women of "uncertain chastity" had to be off the streets by 9 p.m.
• Bear wrestling matches are prohibited.
• Boogers may not be flicked into the wind.
• Children of incestuous couples are deemed legitimate.
• Dominoes may not be played on Sunday.
• Hunting is not allowed on Sunday.
• Incestuous marriages are legal.
• It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
• It is illegal to impersonate a person of the clergy.
• It is illegal to maim oneself to escape duty.
• It is illegal to stab yourself to gain someone's pity.
• It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.
• It more...

A pair of nude photographs is being auctioned off of supermodel Kate Moss and they’re expected to sell for $74,000.

Or for two bucks, collectors can purchase the cheaper visual equivalent, a photo of a blonde wig and cable wire.

Remember Vanessa Hudgens' nude photo scandal? Back in September Disney had to fire her from High School Musical over those pics. In her place they hired Adrienne Bailon who, I'm sure, assured them nothing crazy like that would happen with her. Well, apparently she left her laptop in the airport, and guess what was on it? Yup! Nude pics.
First let me say that the girls that were into theater at my High School were nothing like this.
Second, this whole nude-pic-leaking-on-the-internet thing that seems to keep happening really bothers me. Is there no safe place to keep your nudies? You could lock them up in a drawer I guess... but what good is that... you gonna tell a girl in the club that she has to wait till she gets to your place to see your nudy pics!? I mean that's ridiculous in this day and age. I live in freaking New Jersey, and if I meet a girl in an NYC club, the only way I'm getting her to come to Jersey is to show the goods up front.

One day while sleeping with his neighbor's wife, Ralph heard his neighbor's car pull in the driveway.
"Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window, Ted's home early," she yelled. Ralph looked out the window and said, "I can't jump out the window! It's raining like hell out there."
She cried, "If Ted catches us in here, he will kill both of us!"
So, Ralph grabbed his clothes and jumped out the window. When he landed outside he found himself in the middle of a marathon race, so he started running along side the others, only he was still in the nude, carrying his clothes on his arm. One of the runners asked him, "Do you always run in the nude?"
Ralph answered, while gasping for air, "Oh yes, it feels so free having the air blow over your skin while you are running."
Then another runner asked, "Do you always run carrying your clothes on your arm?"
Ralph answered breathlessly, "Oh yes, that way I more...