Nyah Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: Did you hear about the Polish guy that locked his keys in his car? A: Took him an hour using a coat hanger to get his family out.Q: Why do Polish dogs have flat noses? A: From chasing parked cars.Q: What did the Polish mother say when her daughter said she was pregnant? A: "Are you sure it's yours?"Q: You go to a cockfight. How can you identify the Polish guy? A: He's the one with a duck.Q: How do you know if an Italian is there? A: He bet on the duck.Q: How do you know if the Mafia is there? A: The duck wins.In Poland's largest shopping mall, there was a terrible power outage. People were stuck on the escalators for 4 hours! A 12-year-old boy walks up to his Polish neighbor and says, "I was looking in your bedroom window last night and I saw you and your wife naked! Nyah, nyah, nyah."The guy answers, "The joke's on you, Johnny...Nyah, nyah, nyah-I wasn't even home last night!"...and finally:Q: How do you keep a Polak in suspense?
Kittens, better than babies? Hah! Here now are the top ELEVEN reasons why
babies are better than kittens (and, as any five-year-old will tell you, more
reasons makes my list better. Nyah! Nyah! Nyah!)
11) Babies are rarely known to shed on furniture.
10) No one's allergic to a baby.
9) Having a kitten in the car doesn't let you drive in the carpool lane.
8) An exercise program you can really stick with... that you HAVE to stick
with, whether you like it or not...
7) With a kitten, you don't get to watch otherwise normal adults making
silly faces, jumping up and down, talking nonsense in a high pitched voice,
and generally making fools of themselves. Hours of fun!
6) For an initial investment of a camera and few pieces of film, you can
convince baby's grandparents to buy the kid all the cute but expensive
clothes, toys, furniture, and major appliances s/he will ever need-a good
photographer can buy nothing but diapers for a year. more...
A 12-year-old boy comes up to the Polak and says, "I was looking in your bedroom window last night and I saw your wife giving you a blow job. Nyah, nyah, nyah." The Polak answers, "The joke's on you, Johnny. Nyah, nyah, nyah--I wasn't even home last night!"
Kosher Millionaire
You have been selected to play "So You Wouldn't Mind Being a Kosher Millionaire...You Should Only Live So Long." You have three lifelines to help you, as follows:
1. You may call a Rabbi for his opinion.
2. You may ask the congregation for their opinion.
3. You may consider your spouse's opinion... or not.
Bonus lifeline! Whether you ask for it or not, your Mother will give you her opinion.
Lets play...
For $100
Q. What is the name of the Russian Space Station that crashed and burned on re-entry?
A. Oy Vey is Mir
For $200
Q. How does a Jewish woman call her family to dinner?
A. All right, everybody get in the car.
For $500
Q. Who is Israel's favorite Internet provider?
A. Netanyahoo.
For $1,000
Q. What is the name of a facial lotion made for Jewish women?
A. Oil of Oy Vey.
For $2,000
Q. What is the title of the new horror film for Jewish women?
A. Debbie Does more...