Pennsylvania Jokes / Recent Jokes

In Pittsburgh, Sidney Crosby and his Penguin teammates hand-delivered season tickets to fans. Across town, members of the Pirates coaching staff were also going door-to-door, delivering their resumes.

Fireworks stores may not sell fireworks to Pennsylvania residents. Ministers are forbidden from performing marriages when either the bride or groom is drunk. You may not catch a fish with your hands. You may not catch a fish by any body part except the mouth. Dynamite is not to be used to catch fish. Though you do not need a fishing license to fish on your own land, but a hunting license is required to hunt on your own land. It is illegal to have over 16 women live in a house together because that constitutes a brothel. However up to • 120 men can live together, without breaking the law.The state law of Pennsylvania prohibits singing in the bathtub.A special cleaning ordinance bans homemakers from hiding dirt and dust under a rug in a dwelling.No man may purchase alcohol without written consent from his wife.It is contrary to Pennsylvania law to discharge a gun, cannon, revolver or other explosive weapon at a wedding. Any motorist driving along a country road at night must stop more...

Joseph Vento, the owner of popular South Philadelphia cheesesteak stand Geno's Steaks, is stirring up controversy with a sign he has posted. It reads: "This is America. When ordering, speak English." We'll know he's really lost his mind when he puts up another sign that says: "This ain't the freakin' Midwest. It's soda, not pop."

A new arrival in Hell was brought before the devil.
The devil told his demon to put the man to work on a rock pile with a 20 pound sledge hammer in 95 degree heat with 95% humidity.
At the end of the day, the devil went to see how the man was doing, only to find him smiling and singing as he pounded rocks. The man explained that the heat and hard labor were very similar to those on his beloved farm back in Pennsylvania.
The devil told his demon to turn up the heat to 120 degrees, with 100% humidity.
At the end of the next day, the devil again checked on the new man, and found him still happy to be sweating and straining. The man explained that it felt like the old days, when he had to clean out his silo in the middle of August on his beloved farm back in Pennsylvania.
At that, the devil told his demon to lower the temperature to -20 degrees with a 40 mph wind.
At the end of the next day, the devil was confident that he would find the man miserable. But, instead more...

Below is an item that appeared recently in various Humor lists. It did not appear credible to me, so I wrote to the Association of Trial Lawyers of America for their comments on its veracity. Their comments (including a little propaganda for their side) follow the summary of the Stella Awards below. We may have some "goofy" legal decisions in America, but the ones below appear to be bogus.
Origin of the Stella Awards:
In 1994, a New Mexico jury awarded $2.9 million U.S. in damages to 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who suffered third-degree burns to her legs, groin and buttocks after spilling a cup of McDonald's coffee on herself.
This case inspired an annual award - The "Stella" Award - for the most frivolous lawsuit in the U.S. The ones listed below are clear candidates.
January 2000: Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running amuck inside a furniture more...

A guy walks into a bar down in Arkansas and orders a Grape Nehi. Surprised, the bartender looks around and says,' 'You ain't from around here... Where you from, boy?''.

The guy says,' 'I'm from Pennsylvania.''

The bartender asks,' 'What do you do up in Pennsylvania?''

The guy responds,' 'I'm a taxidermist.''

The bartender asks,' 'A taxidermist... what the hell is a taxidermist?''

The guy says,' 'I mount dead animals.''

The bartender smiles and shouts to the whole bar,' 'It's OK boys, he's one of us!''

In a shameless move,the Pittsburgh Pirates traded their whole team to Orlando.They will be called the Orlando Pirates Of The Carribean.