Pennsylvania Jokes / Recent Jokes

Philadelphia's Ryan Howard is on the verge of reaching 60 homeruns. The record books will carry an asterisk to show that Howard didn’t cheat.

A thirteen-year-old girl from Pennsylvania was crowned LG National Texting champion on Saturday after she typed "supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" from "Mary Poppins" in 15 seconds, earning her the $25,000 top prize.

According to the winner's parents, the money will just about cover last month's Cingular bill.

It is illegal to have over 16 women live in a house together because that constitutes a brothel. However up to 120 men can live together, without breaking the law.
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You may not sing in the bathtub.
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Fireworks stores may not sell fireworks to Pennsylvania residents.
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Ministers are forbidden from performing marriages when either the bride or groom is drunk.
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Motorized vehicles are not to be sold on Sundays.
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You may not catch a fish with your hands.
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You may not catch a fish by any body part except the mouth.
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Dynamite is not to be used to catch fish.
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Though you do not need a fishing license to fish on your own land, but a hunting license is required to hunt on your own land.
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All fire hydrants must be checked one hour before all fires.
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No one is allowed to sleep on a refrigerator.

An angry mob in Philadelphia chased and beat an accused child rapist with an 8 foot long two by four.
Every time they hit him candy flew out. The angry mob assumed that he either used the candy to lure children...
Or, he was a Pinata.

They have got to be joking! Only in America....................!!!

In 1994, a New Mexico jury awarded $ 2. 9 million U. S. in damages to 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who suffered third-degree burns to her legs, groin and buttocks after spilling a cup of McDonald's coffee on herself.
This case inspired an annual award - The "Stella" Award - for the most frivolous lawsuit in the U. S. The ones listed below are clear candidates.
All these cases are verging on the outright ridiculous and yet with the right attorney you could win anything! (see OJ trial)
1. January 2000: Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas was awarded
780, 000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running amok inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving tyke was Ms. Robertson's son.
2. June 1998: A 19 year old, Carl Truman of Los Angeles won 74, 000 and medical more...

Once again, to the funny Pennsylvania lawyer who filed a $13-million US class action suit against us in the Court of Common Pleas, we offer our sincere and public apology. We deeply regret any negative insinuation these jokes could cause against both you, individually, and to the honorable esquires, the members of your distinguished profession. If these words do not suffice to sufficiently prostrate ourselves, then we'd like a moment, alone, with the judge and then, if need still be, another moment, alone, with you.

Due to global warming,game 7 of the National Hockey League Finals was skated on thin ice.