Pennsylvania Jokes / Recent Jokes
The Pirates are interested in trading All-Star second baseman Freddy Sanchez to the Giants for left-handed starter Jonathan Sanchez. The trade is particularly appealing to Pittsburgh since they can save money by not printing new jerseys.
It's time once again to consider the candidates for the annual Stella Awards. The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonalds. That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States.
The following are this year's candidates:
1. Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a nightclub in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.
2. Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next-door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might more...
A foreman at Pennsylvania's Brendle Farms discovered a 4-legged chicken among the 36,000 on the farm. "Sometimes I count their feet and divide by two, but it just wasn't adding up right this time," said the foreman.
Mark Brendle, owner of the farm abutting Three Mile Island nuclear power plant, was excited about the discovery. "We'll put it next to the two-headed duck and the pig with five sets of teats," he said.
The ‘86 World Series ring of former Met/Phillie and financial adviserLenny Dykstra is being auctioned off by a pawnshop. Buyer beware: itmight point your finger straight to Lenny’s stock picks!
Former Philadelphia Phillies star Lenny Dykstra has been accused of racist, sexist and homophobic remarks. No one heard him say these things, they just saw his mullet.
Pirates chairman Bob Nutting recently told reporters that an MLB salary cap would make Pittsburgh more competitive. Provided that salary cap is half a million dollars.
A Pennsylvania man won the World Burrito eating championship by eating 33 1/2 burritos in 10 minutes. He then set a Guinness world record by downing 32 ounces of Imodium A-D in 5 minutes.