Pennsylvania Jokes / Recent Jokes

It's time once again to review the winners of the Annual "Stella Awards." The Stella Awards are named after 81 year-old Stella Liebeck of New Mexico who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's. That case inspired the Stella awards for the most frivolous, ridiculous, successful lawsuits in the United States.

Here are this year's winners:
7th Place:
Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $80, 000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.
6th Place:
19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74, 000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's more...

The Philadelphia Phillies have decided to start veteran pitcher Jamie Moyer in game one of the World Series. The 45-year-old hurler will be on a very strict pitch count since he likes to be in bed by 9:00 pm.

The Yankees vs The Phillies?....... sounds too disgusting to watch on somany levels!

Jimmy Rollins believes the Phillies will win the World Series in five games. He also believes the world is flat.

The Eagles have signed Andy Reid until 2013. He's now the second member of his family to be locked up for the next three years.

The Phillies are upset that team introductions for the World Series in Tampa didn't include every player. Which leads to the age-old philosophical question: If a roster is announced, and nobody's watching to hear it, does anyone care?

A redneck girl was dating a fellow in Pennsylvania named Clarence. They got into a huge fight and she told her two brothers (Billy Bob and Billy Jim) about it.
They jumped into their pick-up truck and headed to
Pennsylvania to settle the score with Clarence. They reached the state line and after passing under an over-pass, Billy Bob made a quick U-turn and headed back home quickly.
Billy Jim asked why he had turned around.
Billy Bob replied, "I ain't messing around with that dude. Did you see that sign back there? 'Clearance 14 feet 8 inches.'