Pennsylvania Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two boys are playing football in a Pennsylvania State Park when one is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a board of the nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dogs neck
A Post Gazette reporter who was strolling by sees the incident and rushes over to interview the boy
"Young Steelers Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal," he starts writing in his notebook
"But I'm not a Steelers fan," the little hero replied
"Sorry, since we are in Pennsylvania, I just assumed you were," said the reporter and starts again
"Little Eagles Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack" he continued writing in his notebook
"I'm not an Eagles fan either," the boy said
"I assumed everyone in Pennsylvania was either for the Steelers or the Eagles. What team do you root for?" the reporter asked
"I'm a Browns fan," the child said
The reporter more...

Pennsylvania Road System Slogans
1. If you can build a better highway, we`d like to see it!
2. Potholes.... Shmotpoles!
3. Highway numbers go to the highest bidder!
4. Land of 10, 000 potholes.
5. We don`t repair roads, we destroy them!
Bumpy roads, tale me home, to the place I belong,
Pennsylvania, land of potholes, take me home.
I hear the car as it rattles down the highway,
Each bump tearing at its springs and shocks.
And each thump and groan reminds me,
The garage bill is coming soon some day.
You know you`re from Pennsylvania if...
You only own three spices: salt, pepper, ketchup.
You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
You have more miles on your snowblower than your car.
You have 10 favorite recipes for venison.
You have an uncontrollable urge to buy bread and milk when you hear the word "snow."
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled more...

It is contrary to Pennsylvania law to discharge a gun, cannon, revolver or other explosive weapon at a wedding.
It is illegal to have over 16 women live in a house together because that constitutes a brothel. However up to 120 men can live together, without breaking the law.
It it illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors.
Any motorist driving along a country road at night must stop every mile and send up a rocket signal, wait 10 minutes for the road to be cleared of livestock, and continue.
A special cleaning ordinance bans housewives from hiding dirt and dust under a rug in a dwelling.
You may not sing in the bathtub.
Fireworks stores may not sell fireworks to Pennsylvania residents.
& A person is not eligible to become Governor if he/she has participated in a duel.
& Any motorist who sights a team of horses coming toward him must pull well off the road, cover his car with a blanket or canvas that blends with the countryside, and let more...

Coincidentally, yesterday Senator Ted Kennedy also changed parties--he left a wine-tasting party and went to a beer party.

people are doing whatever they can to cut expenses. Today Arlen Specter switched to Geico.

This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries by the Pennsylvania Department of Environmental Quality, State of Pennsylvania. This guy's response is hilarious, but read the State's letter before you get to the response letter.
SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County
Dear Mr. DeVries:
It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity:
Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond. A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity.
A review of the Department's files shows that no permits have been issued. Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource more...

The "Stella" awards rank up there with the Darwin awards. Stella Liebeck is the 81 year old lady who spilled coffee on herself and sued McDonalds. This case inspired an annual award: The "Stella" Award - for the most frivolous lawsuits in the U. S.The following are this year's candidates:1. January 2000: Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little brat was Ms. Robertson's son.2. June 1998: A 19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car, when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.3. October 1998: A Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania was leaving a house he had just more...