Pharmacy Jokes / Recent Jokes

Told to me by my mother, who owned a pharmacy in Tennessee, in 1950.
A fellow with a bad cough comes in to the pharmacy, walks up to
the counter and asks for the pharmacist. A young clerk tells him
that the pharmacist is not available. The man asks the young
clerk if he can recommend anything for his cough.
The clerk gives him a bottle of some medicine for his cough.
The customer takes a big swig, then after a few minutes, with
no apparent relief, he takes another, and another.
In a short while, the pharmacist returns, and sees his old friend,
the customer with the cough, sitting quietly in a booth
near the soda fountain. He says to his clerk that the fellow
has never before stopped at the soda fountain.
The clerk proudly tells the pharmacist the story of his transaction.
The pharmacist looks at the recommended medication and angrily
reprimands the clerk for recommending a laxative, instead of cough syrup.
The clerk reminds more...

A guy walks into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist, "Listen, I have three girls coming over tonight. I've never had three girls at once, and I need something to keep me horny... keep me potent."

The pharmacist reaches under the counter, unlocks the bottom drawer and takes out a small cardboard box marked with a label "Viagra Extra Strength" and says, "Here, if you eat this, you'll go nuts for twelve hours."

The guy says, "Gimme three boxes."

The next day the guy walks into the same pharmacy goes up to the pharmacist and pulls down his pants. The pharmacist looks in horror as he notices the man's jewels are black and blue, and the skin is hanging off in some places.

The man says, "Gimme a bottle of Ben Gay."

The pharmacist replies, "Ben Gay? You're not going to put Ben Gay on that are you?"

The man says, "No, it's for my arms, the girls never showed more...

A customer walks into a pharmacy and asks assistant for an anal deodorant. The assistant explains that they don't stock them. The man insists that he bought his last one from this store. The assistant passes man on to the pharmacist, who explains that store has never stocked such an item. The man explains he bought his last one from this store only weeks agoand has done for several years. The pharmacist asks man to bring in his last purchase and he will try to match the product. The following day, the man returns to the pharmacy and shows the deodorant to the pharmacist. The pharmacist asks why the customer thinks this is an anal deodorant, when it is obviously of the underarm stick variety. The customer explains that instructions on reverse state, "Push up bottom to use."

A customer walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for an anal deodorant. The assistant explains that they don't stock them. The man insists that he bought his last one from this store. The assistant passes the man on to the pharmacist, who explains that the store has never stocked such an item. The man explains that he bought his last one from this store only weeks ago and has done so for several years. The pharmacist asks the man to bring in his last purchase and he will try to match the product.

The following day, the man returns to the pharmacy and shows the deodorant to the pharmacist. The pharmacist asks why the customer thinks this is an anal deodorant, when it is obviously of the underarm stick variety.

The customer explains that instructions on reverse state, "Push up bottom to use."

A guy goes to a travel agent and books a two-week cruise for himself and his girlfriend. A couple days before the cruise, the travel agent calls and says the cruise has been canceled, but he can get them on a three-day cruise instead.

The guy says "OK," and goes to the pharmacy to buy three Dramamine and three condoms.

Next day, the agent calls back and says he now can book a five-day cruise. The guy says he'll take it.

He returns to the same pharmacy and buys two more Dramamine and two more condoms.

The following day, the travel agent calls again and says he can now book an eight-day cruise.

The guy says, "OK," and goes back to the drug store and asks for three more Dramamine and three more condoms.

Finally, the pharmacist asks, "Look, if having sex makes you sick, how come you keep doing it?"

A chemist walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, "Do you have any acetylsalicylic acid?"

"You mean aspirin?" asked the pharmacist.

"That's it, I can never remember that word."

Two old ladies were waitingfor a bus and one of them was smoking a cigarette. It started to rain, so the old ladyreached into her purse, took out a condom, cut off the tip and slipped it over hercigarette and continued to smoke.

Her friend saw this andsaid, "Hey that's a good idea! But, what is that thing you put over yourcigarette?"

The other old lady said,"It's a condom."

"A condom? Where doyou get those?"

The lady with the cigarettetold her friend that you could purchase condoms at the pharmacy. When the two old ladiesarrived downtown, the old lady with all the
questions went into the pharmacy and asked the pharmacist if he sold condoms. Thepharmacist said yes, but looked a little surprised that this old woman was interested incondoms, so he asked her, "What size do you want?"

The old lady thought for aminute and said, "One that will fit a Camel."