Plant Jokes / Recent Jokes
Several years ago, after having Japanese executives from the automotive industry tour a Ford Plant, they held a press conference in which one of the Japanese execs claimed that the American workers were slow and lazy.Not long after, a friend sent me a picture of a bumper sticker on a truck at the Ford plant.It read - "We may be slow and lazy, but we build a damn good bomb!"
Once upon a time, on a farm in Arkansas. . . . . . there was a little red hen who scratched about the barnyard until she uncovered quite a few grains of wheat. She called all of her neighbors together and said, “If we plant this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me plant it? ”"Not I, ” said the cow. ”Not I, ” said the duck. ”Not I, ” said the pig. ”Not I, ” said the goose. ”Then I will do it by myself, ” said the little red hen. And so she did; The wheat grew very tall and ripened into golden grain. “Who will help me reap my wheat? ” asked the little red hen.
”Not I, ” said the duck. ”Out of my classification, ” said the pig. ”I’d lose my seniority, ” said the cow. ”I’d lose my unemployment compensation, ” said the goose. ”Then I will do it by myself, ” said the little red hen, and so she did. At last it came time to bake the bread. “Who will help me bake the bread? ” asked the little red hen. ”That would more...
Cat fitness really can be fun. However, it is important to start any fitness program only when you feel like it. Don't let a few extra pounds intimidate you into becoming more active. The most important aspect of fitness is: when to start the program. The best time is at about 2 a.m. The house is quiet; there are no distractions. The warm-up is critical. Cats are experts at stretching, so this won't be a problem. Start with a few wind sprints, full speed, toenails clicking on the tile or linoleum floors. A few low but loud growls will help you feel charged up.
Now it is time to add some eye-paw coordination work. Find a marble (the big steelies work even better) and roll that down the floor as the sprints continue. See how many times you can ricochet it off the wallboards before it disappears under the fridge. Finally, work on that upper body strength. Climbing is a great exercise. Use draperies, macram
1. Why was the soil so good in school?
It knows its ABCs.
2. Where was the plant leaf imprisoned?
In the pennate-enturary.
3. Who won in the plant politics race?
The Accumbent.
4. Who told the story of the plant soil's life?
The N-Aerator.
5. How does a Japanese botanist bid farewell?
Cyan-ara.
6. How to botanists tell computers what to do?
With apogamy language (a programing language).
7. The close fitting leaf was being appressed.
8. Where do monkey flowers live?
On the Ape-planate.
9. Which tree did the Japanese bomb on December 7 1942?
The Pearl Arbor.
10. Why was there no food around the tree?
Becasue the Arbor-eat-em.
Economic times were very bad, so the plant owner had a difficult time finding people to work in his new factory. In an act of desperation, he hired a tribe of cannibals. At their orientation he made it very clear that he would not tolerate any acts of cannibalism in the plant.
Three months went by without incident, when all of a sudden a secretary disappeared without a trace.
The manager rounded up all of the cannibals.
"If I find out that one of you ate the secretary," he said, "I'm going to fire all of you!" and with that, stormed out of the room.
After he left the room, one of the cannibals stood up and said, "This is a disgrace! For months we've been eating managers and no one has even noticed! Which one of you fools ate a secretary?!"
>? My Boss had a "stroke of genius" and it killed him.
>
>? My Boss recently fired a gay employee. He called it "canning the fruit".
>
>? My Boss is a famous inventor. He created "the fluke".
>
>? Whenever "it's" going to hit the fan, my Boss makes sure I'm right down
>front.
>
>? I work in the company kitchen. My Boss said "If you ever drop food on the
>floor, just put it in the microwave for a few seconds to kill the germs.
>Then go ahead and put it on plates for the customers."
>
>? My Boss was complaining about how much time I used to take my wife to the
>doctor for her leukemia treatments. He said "You're making too much of
>this. We are all going to die sometime. Make sure your career doesn't die
>first."
>
>? We recently moved into a new building that didn't have enough space for
>our cubicles. I was told my cubicle wouldn't more...