Plant Jokes / Recent Jokes

Once upon a time, on a farm in Arkansas, there was a little red hen who scratched about the barnyard until she uncovered quite a few grains of wheat. She called all of her neighbors together and said, "If we plant this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me plant it?" "Not I," said the cow. "Not I," said the duck. "Not I," said the pig. "Not I," said the goose. "Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen. And so she did; The wheat grew very tall and ripened into golden grain. "Who will help me reap my wheat?" asked the little red hen. "Not I," said the duck. "Out of my classification," said the pig. "I'd lose my welfare," said the cow. "I'd lose my unemployment compensation," said the goose. "Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen, and so she did. At last it came time to bake the bread. "Who will help me bake the more...

Jones is checking out of a hotel when suddenly he hasto take a shit real bad. The toilet in his room isn't working, so he bolts downto use the lobby Men's Room, but all of the stalls areoccupied, so he runs back up to his room, and indesperation, he drops his pants, uproots a plant, andtakes a shit in the pot. Then he puts the plant back inthe pot and leaves. Two weeks later, he gets a postcard from the hotel thatsays, "Dear Mr. Jones, All is forgiven. Just tell us... where is it?"

In a retirement community, in Prescott, Arizona, police discovered a 5 foot pot plant growing in an elderly couple's driveway. The elderly couple thought it was a lovely plant and nutured it to maturity. When the deputy sherriff drove by and saw the plant, he yanked it from the ground. The elderly couple said they had no idea how it got there, that they thought it was just another pretty desert plant, and that it the seed must have been dropped by someone's grandson. I am so using that excuse next time. Oh, I can't wait to get old and senile.
The police estimate the plant to be worth $3000 dollars, or 300 handjobs from desperate sorority girls. The Americans for Safe Access estimates that more than 10,000 elderly citizens are turning to marijuna every year. In other news, I'm going to visit Grandma.

1. Who is the mother of the mother of a botanist?
A Granule.
2. What is the attitude of many botanists?
Haploid go luckoid.
3. Hastate makes wastate.
4. Why will shrubs rule the world?
They will have Hedge-mony.
5. What do you call a curly haired monoceous plant?
A perm-aphrodite.
6. What is a boring plant eater?
An Herbi-bore.
7. What do you call a plant eating pig?
An herbi-boar.
8. Why did the flower go to the salon?
To have his hair styled.
9. What do you say when a botanist sneezes?
HIRSUTE-ite.
10. How do horticulturists get across bodies of water?
With the help of a a Boat-anist.

These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.
97. Buy a plant. Sleep with it at night. Talk to it. After a few weeks, start to argue with it loudly. Then yell, "I can't live in the same room with you," storm out of the room and slam the door. Get rid of the plant, but keep the pot. Refuse to discuss the plant ever again.

Q: Why did the French plant trees along the Champs Elysees? A: So the Germans could march in the shade.

He is the person, who has very thin body.
When he was drunken he explained us lot of very interesting lies,
when he was in sri-lanka.
Now we are going to tell you couple of lies, which he has tallen us,
The interesting thing is the VAWLA think that
he is telling true every time,
But all peaple knows all thous are VAWLA'S stories.
The first lie VAWLA told us is, One day he going for a walk with his friend's.
On his way he saw a VAWLA(bat) hanging on the electricity cable.
After that he took some stones and threw to the VAWLA,
then VAWLA fall down. He took the VAWLA and went home, cookd nicly
and had a good party. After that he named the party' VAWL-PARTY'.
He told us that the tastest meet he had is the VAWL-meet.
In our place only the beggars are having the VAWLA meet.
After this lie story we are calling him' VAWLA'
Four year's ago he has gone to katharagama with his companious.
On the way he wanted to go more...