Portrait Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Pakistani officer broke into the house of a professor in East Pakistan, formerly Bangladesh, and saw three pictures on the wall: Kazi Nazrul Islam, Mr Jinnah and Gurudev Tagore. He assumed that Nazrul Islam's photograph was that of a Hindu so he shot it with his revolver. Then he sprang to attention and saluted the portrait of Mr Jinnah. And who is this fellow with the long hair and beard?' demanded the officer.
'Sir, that is the father of Quaid-e-Azem Jinnah,' replied the quickwitted professor. The soldier sprang to attention and saluted the portrait of Tagore.

An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She instructed the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, an emerald necklace, a ruby bracelet, and a Rolex watch.""But you're not wearing any of those things!" the artist said."I know," she replied. "But if I should die before my husband, I'm sure he'll remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry!"

Mrs. Whembleton decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant."
"But, Madam, you are not wearing any of those things."
"True enough," said Mrs. Whembleton. "If I should predecease my dear husband I know he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go stark raving mad looking for the jewelry!"

Mrs. Whembleton decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant.""But, Madam, you are not wearing any of those things.""True enough," said Mrs. Whembleton. "If I should predecease my dear husband I know he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go stark raving mad looking for the jewelry!"

An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She instructed the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, an emerald necklace, a ruby bracelet, and a Rolex watch."
"But you're not wearing any of those things!" the artist said.
"I know," she replied. "But if I should die before my husband, I'm sure he'll remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry!"