Protestant Jokes / Recent Jokes

A guy was walking down a street in Ireland when a man approached from behind him and stuck a knife to the the guy's throat.
"Be you protestant or catholic", the assailant (sp?) asked.
The guy thought "If I say I'm catholic and he's protestant, I'm a dead man. If I say I'm protestant and he's catholic, I'm a dead man."
After a little thought, the guy said, "I'm jewish, I'M JEWISH".
"Aha," the assailant said, "I have to be the luckyest Arab in Ireland!"

HERE is a large collection of anecdotes are about the animosity between Catholics and, Protestants: An Irish Protestant who was dangerously ill and believed he was dying sent for a Catholic priest, and was received into the Roman Church. His Protestant friends were horrified and one of them asked him how he could thus forsake the creed for which he had stood all his life and go over to the enemy.' Well/ said the sick man,' it is this way. I said to myself, "If anyone's got to die, better one of their lot than one of our lot."'

Forwarded to me through a long chain of email addresses.
This came from a bookmark distributed by De Anza College.
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A protestant moved into a completely Catholic community. Being good Catholics they welcomed him into their community. But, also because they were good Catholics they did not eat red meat on Fridays. So, when their neighbor began barbequeing some juicy steak on Friday night, they began to squirm.
They were so annoyed that they went to talk to him about it. After much talk they conviced him to become Catholic. The next Sunday he went to the priest and the priest sprinkled holy water on him and said:
You were born Protestant.
You were raised Protestant.
But now you are Catholic!
And so, the next Friday, as the neighbors sat down to eat their fish, they were disturbed by the smell of roast beef coming from the neighboring house. They went over to talk to the new Catholic because he knew he was not supposed to eat beef on Fridays. When they saw him, he was sprinkling ketchup on the beef saying:
You were born a cow.
You were raised a cow.
But now you are fish!

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. I immediately ran over and said "Stop! Don't do it!" "Why shouldn't I?" he said. I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!" "Like what?" "Well. .. are you religious or atheist?" "Religious." "Me too! Are you Christian or Jewish?" "Christian." "Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?" "Protestant." "Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?" "Baptist." "Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?" "Baptist Church of God." "Me too! Are you Original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?" "Reformed Baptist Church of God." "Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?" "Reformed Baptist more...

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. I immediately ran over and said "Stop! Don't do it!"

"Why shouldn't I?" he said.

I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!"

"Like what?"

"Well. .. are you religious or atheist?"

"Religious."

"Me too! Are you Christian or Jewish?"

"Christian."

"Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?"

"Protestant."

"Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"

"Baptist."

"Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?"

"Baptist Church of God."

"Me too! Are you Original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?"

"Reformed Baptist Church of more...

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on theedge, about to jump off. I immediately ran over and said "Stop! Don't do it!""Why shouldn't I?" he said. I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!""Like what?" "Well. .. are you religious or atheist?" "Religious." "Me too! Are you Christian or Jewish?" "Christian." "Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?" "Protestant." "Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?" "Baptist." "Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of theLord?" "Baptist Church of God." "Me too! Are you Original Baptist Church of God, or are you ReformedBaptist Church of God?" "Reformed Baptist Church of God." "Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?" "Reformed Baptist more...