Question And Answers Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?
A: pineapple!
Q: What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift wrapper?
A: Ribbon hood.
Q: Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?
A: Santa Jaws!
Q: How long does it take to burn a candle down?
A: About a wick!
Q: Why is a cat on a beach like Christmas?
A: Because they both have "Sandy claws"!
Q: What's Christmas called in England?
A: Yule Britannia!
Q: Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters?
A: They both drop their needles!
Q: What do you call a man who claps at Christmas?
A: Santapplause!
Q: Father Christmas wins a saucepan in a competition.
A: Now thats what you call pot luck!
Q: What do the reindeer sing to Father Christmas on his birthday?
A: Freeze a jolly good fellow!
Q: Why are women's breasts like a train set a kid gets at Christmas time?
A: Because they were originally made for children but the father wants to play with them.
Q: What do the female reindeer do when Santa takes the male reindeer out on Christmas Eve?
A: They go into to town and blow a few bucks.
Q: What's the difference between snow men and snow women?
A: Snowballs
Q: What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?
A: Their balls are just for decoration.
Q: What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
A: It's Christmas, Eve!
Q: How do you make an idiot laugh on boxing day?
A: Tell him a joke on Christmas Eve!
Q: What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month?
A: The letter "D"!
Q: What does Father Christmas suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
A: Santa Claustrophobia!
Q: What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve?
A: Black more...
Q: Why does Father Christmas like to work in the garden?
A: Because he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe!
Q: Why is a cat on a beach like Christmas?
A: Because they both have “Sandy claws”!
Q: What does Father Christmas call his money?
A: Iced lolly?
Q: What’s Father Christmas called when he takes a rest while delivering presents?
A: Santa pause!
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a shark?
A: Frostbite
Q: Where does Santa buy his gardening tools from?
A: Frosty the Hoeman
Q: Why is Rudolph always wet?
A: Because he is a rain-deer
Q: Why did the elf put a clock in Santa's sleigh?
A: He wanted to see time fly
Q: Why is the Christmas alphabet different from the regular alphabet?
A: No "L" (Noel)
Q: What is the name of the tenth reindeer?
A: Olive (the other reindeer)
Q: What's red and white and gives presents to good little fish on Christmas?
A: Sandy Claws.
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.
Q: What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
A: Ribbon hood.
Q: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A: Snowflakes.
Q: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
A: Claustrophobic.
Q: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
A: Because he had low elf esteem.
Q: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
A: So he can ho-ho-ho.
Q: Why doesn't Santa have any children?
A: Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down the chimney.
Q: How are a Christmas tree and a priest alike?
A: They both have ornamental balls.
Q: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
A: Claustrophobic.