Question And Answers Jokes

Q. Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
A. You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
Q. What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
A. It's Christmas, Eve!
Q. What nationality is Santa Claus?
A. North Polish.
Q. Why does Mr. Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?
A. Because every buck is dear to him.
Q. What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?
A. Crisp Cringle.
Q. What does Father Christmas write on his cards at Christmas?
A. ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ (no-L)
Q. What was so good about the neurotic doll the girl was given for Christmas?
A. It was already wound up.

Q: What do you get if you cross an archer with a gift wrapper?
A: Ribbon Hood!

Q: Why couldn't the Christmas tree stand up?
A: Christmas tree does not have legs like we do!

Q: What did the snowman and his wife hang over their baby’s crib?
A: Snow Mobile!

Q: Why did Ken keep his trumpet in the freezer?
A: Because he loves cool music!

Q: What king is the children's favourite at christmas time?
A: stocking!

Q: What's brown and sneaks round the kitchen?
A: Mince spies!

Q: What is the most special part of your body at Christmas?
A: mistleTOE!

Q: How does Jack Frost travel to work?
A: By Icicle!

Q: What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
A: The Christmas alphabet has Noel!

Q: What did the pack of Walkers say to the Skips?
A: Merry Crispmass!

Q: Why should you be careful at Christmas?
A: There are mince spies about!

Q: Why did the duck cross the road?
A: to quack open the ice!

Q: What is a mum's favourite Christmas carol?
A: Silent Night!

Q: What happened to the man who shoplifted a calender at Christmas?
A: He got 12 months!

Q: What kind of candle burns longer?
A: No candles burn longer, they all burn shorter!

Q: Why is it always cold at Christmas?
A: Because it is Decemberrrrrrrrrrr!

Q: Who's impossible to overtake at Christmas?
A: The three wide men!

Q: What carol is heard in the desert?
A: Camel ye Faithful!

Q: What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
A: Tinselitus!

Q: What do you give a railway station master for Christmas?
A: Platform Shoes!

Q: What is the best xmas present in the world?
A: broken drum You cant beat it!

Q: How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?
A: Deep and crisp and even!!

Q: How do you make opening your christmas presents last longer?
A: Open them with boxing gloves on!

Q: What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
A: It is Christmas, Eve!

Q: What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month?
A: The letter D!

Q: If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?
A: Missletoe!

Q: Why is it difficult to keep a secret at the North Pole?
A: Because your teeth chatter.

Q: Why can only tiny fairies sit under toadstools?
A: Because there is not mushroom.

Q: Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A: mince spy!

Q: What did Cinderella sing when her photographs weren't ready?
A: Some day my prints will come.. . . .

Q: What do elves learn in school?
A: The Elf-abet!

Q: What's the most popular wine at Christmas?
A: "I don't like sprouts"!

Q: If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?
A: Missletoe!

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.

Q: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
A: Because he had low elf esteem.

Q: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
A: So he can ho-ho-ho.

Q: Where do polar bears vote?
A: The North Poll.

Q: What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
A: Ribbon hood.

Q: Why do birds fly south for the winter?
A: Because it's to far to walk.

Q: What was wrong with the boy's brand new toy electric train set he received for Christmas?
A: Forty feet of track - all straight!