Quicksand Jokes / Recent Jokes
* Quicksand warning: Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be drowned. By order of the District Council. * In a dry cleaner’s window: Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of. * In a health food shop window: Closed due to illness. * Spotted in a Safari Park: Elephants Please Stay In Your Car. * Seen during a conference: For anyone who has children and doesn’t know it, there is a day care on the first floor. * Notice in a field: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges. * Message on a leaflet: If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons. * On a repair shop door: We can repair anything (Please knock hard on the door - the bell doesn’t work) * In a toilet: Toilet out of order. Please use floor below. * Plumber: We repair what your husband Fixed.
IN A LAUNDROMAT: Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.
IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE: Bargain Basement Upstairs
IN AN OFFICE: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken.
IN ANOTHER OFFICE: After the tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.
ON A CHURCH DOOR: This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side entrance.)
OUTSIDE A SECOND HAND SHOP: We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.
QUICKSAND WARNING: Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be drowned. By order of the District Council.
NOTICE IN A DRY CLEANER'S WINDOW: Anyone leaving their garments here for morethan 30 days will be disposed of.
IN A more...
Q: What do you call an outhouse built on quicksand?
A: Trapper John
Q: What do you call an outhouse built on quicksand? A: Trapper John
One day there were three men walking down the street. One was black, one was French, and one was Polish.
As they walked by a farm, a farmer stopped them and asked if they'd like to take a test to win his daughter's hand. Being game, they all said, "Why the hell not?"
"Good," the farmer said. He then explained to them that they would have to jump over a fence (electric), get through some mud (quick-sand), and fuck his cow.
The black man went first. He only got as far as the fence, but he got a permanent set of Dred-Locks!
Next, the French man went. He just barely jumped the fence when he sloshed right into the quicksand. He screamed, "Help! Help, mes amis!" The farmer quickly stuck his foot on the poor Frog's head.
Finally it was the Polack's turn. He jumped the fence with ease, got through the quicksand with the help of the Frog's slightly liquified head, and then proceeded to screw the cow.
The farmer, being amazed at all more...
What do you call 4 Mexicans in quicksand? Cuatro Cinco