Ralph Jokes / Recent Jokes
Bill is waiting to tee off for the start of his round when he sees Ralph just finishing his round. Bill notices that Ralph is wet all over the front of his trousers. Curiosity gets the best of him, so Bill asks Ralph how he got so wet. Ralph tells the following story:
That day, Ralph had played golf for the first time with bifocals. All day long, he could see two sizes for everything. There was a big club and a little club; a big ball and a little ball; etc. Therefore, Ralph said that he hit the little ball with the big club and it went straight and long all day long. On the green, he putted the little ball into the big cup. He said that he played the best golf of his life. Bill said, "I understand that, but how did you get all wet?"
"Well," said Ralph, "when I got to the 16th, I had to urinate awfully bad. I went into the woods and unzipped my fly. When I looked down, there were two of them also; a big one and a little one. Well, I knew the big one more...
So this guy was out on his front lawn flying a kite, he was really having a difficult time. The kite wasswinging wildly, not exactly what you'd describe asstable, so his wife sticks her head out the door andsays, "Gee Ralph, it looks like you need more tail." Ralph replies "Make up your goddamn mind, last nightyou told me to go fly a kite!"
The media have grotesquely skewed the public image of women who choose to own firearms. Unfortunately, such exposure can affect one's self-image. This test is offered in the hopes of putting these false images into a more proper perspective. Please circle your answers to each below:
1. What is the real meaning of that pink T-shirt with a revolver on it that says: "The ultimate in feminine protection?"
Obviously a plot by seditious gun fanatics from the NRA.
I'm amazed the pigs have no law banning women's T-Shirts.
A 9mm for "light days" and a. 44 Magnum for "heavy days."
2. For rape and assault prevention, a whistle is:
All you'll ever need.
Like I'd use yet another phallic symbol.
The signal to open fire.
3. The movie "Thelma & Louise" was:
An insidious plot to stamp out femininity and glorify violence.
A male ploy to encourage further suppression of women.
A training film.
4. more...