Rascal Jokes / Recent Jokes

Three gay men died, and were going to be cremated. Their
lovers (Rascal, Dumbass, Bobby) happened to be at the funeral home at the
same time,
and were discussing what they planned to do with the ashes.
The first man (Rascal) said, 'My Benny loved to fly, so I'm going up
in a plane and scatter his ashes in the sky.'
The second man (Dumbass) said, 'My Carl was a good fisherman, so I'm
going to scatter his ashes in our favorite lake.'
The third man (Bobby) said, 'My Jim was such a good lover, I think
I'm
going to dump his ashes in a pot of chili, so he can tear my
ass up just one more time.'

A MAN was hauled up in court for beating his neighbour. The magistrate demanded:' Did you beat up your neighbour?'
'Yes, Your Honour, he called me a Punjabi rascal.'
'So what?'
'Your Honour, if he had called you a Bengali or Madrasi rascal, or the type of rascal you really are, wouldn't you have beaten him up?'

A rascal had no money for the New Year's Day and this worried his wife. The rascal said, "You may rest assured, everything will be all right." Later when he saw a barber passing by, he had a brainstorm, and he thought up a clever scheme. He asked the barber to give him a hair cut. "Could you cut my eyebrows off," said the rascal after the barber had begun cutting. When one of his brows was shaved, he shouted, "Barbers never cut eyebrows! This is an unheard of absurdity!" With these words the rascal seized the barber by the collar, and took him to the court to seek justice. The barber was frightened, and had to pay 100 copper cash to settle the matter. Having extorted the money, the rascal spent a happy New Year's Day. Seeing that one of her husband's eyebrows had disappeared, his wife suggested, "you'd better have the other day brow shaved off too." "Don't you understand what my next move is?", said the rascal. "This brow will be more...

A rascal lived a hard life and barely managed not to starve to death. One day he happened to pass a household that was holding the funeral of one of its family members. He slipped in and cried bitterly in front of the memorial tablet of the dead. Nobody knew him, so, surprised, people asked him why he cried. "I was best friends with the dead. We hadn't seen each other for months. Now he has passed away, how could I not feel sad? Since I just happened to be passing, I wasn't prepared for this. All I can do now is to cry for my best friend, which is an expression of our friendship." The family was deeply moved at this and invited him for dinner. On his way home the rascal met a friend whose life was equally precarious. "Where did you manage to eat and drink today?" the friend asked the rascal, who told him the story from beginning to end. The next day the friend also found a family that was holding a funeral and cried likewise. When they asked him the reason, he more...

In a rain-soaked night, an infant tumbled over the railings of the Howrah bridge and fell into the Hooghly river below. The weather did not prevent hundreds of Calcuttans from flocking over the rails and watching the proceedings, but no one attempted to save the drowning child. At last an old American tourist jumped into the water and did the saving. Later, when he was being interviewed by the radio and T. V.; complimented on his bravery and asked to say something; he roared at them saying, "Bring forward the rascal who pushed me from behind."