Reader Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man walks into a palm reader store and asks the reader, "Could you read my palm?" He shows his hand to her, and she says, "But... I cant read your hand.""Why?" the man asks."I dont understand your handwriting," the woman replies.

A guy was ambling through a crowded street fair when he decided to stop and sit at a palm reader's table.

The mysterious old woman said, "For fifteen dollars, I can read your love line and tell your romantic future."

He readily agreed and the reader took one look at his open palm and said, "I can see that you have no girlfriend."

"That's true," he said.

"Oh my goodness, you are extremely lonely, aren't you?"

"Yes," he shamefully admitted. "That's amazing. Can you tell all of this from my love line?"

"Love line? No, from the calluses."

Review: The Cat in the Hat by Dr. Seuss, 61 pages. Beginner Books, $3. 95 The Cat in the Hat is a hard-hitting novel of prose and poetryin which the author re-examines the dynamic rhyming schemes andbold imagery of some of his earlier works, most notably GreenEggs and Ham, If I Ran the Zoo, and Why Can't I Shower WithMommy? In this novel, Theodore Geisel, writing under thepseudonym Dr. Seuss, pays homage to the great Dr. Sigmund Freudin a nightmarish fantasy of a renegade feline helping two youngchildren understand their own frustrated sexuality. The story opens with two youngsters, a brother and a sister, abandoned by their mother, staring mournfully through thewindow of their single-family dwelling. In the foreground, alarge tree/phallic symbol dances wildly in the wind, tauntingthe children and encouraging them to succumb to the sexualyearnings they undoubtedly feel for each other. Even to themost unlearned reader, the blatant references to theincestuous relationship the two share more...

Paul was ambling through a crowded street fair when he decided to stop and sit at a Palm Reader's table. Said the mysterious old woman, "For fifteen dollars, I can read your love line and tell your romantic future." Paul readily agreed and the reader took one look at his open palm and said, "I can see that you have no girlfriend." "That's true," said Paul. "Oh my goodness, you are extremely lonely, aren't you?" "Yes," Paul shamefully admitted. "That's amazing. Can you tell all of this from my love line?" "Love line? No, from the calluses and blisters."

I used to be a proof reader for a skywriting company.

Acheson’s Rule Of The Bureaucracy: A memorandum is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer. - Dean Acheson
Action’s Law: Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely.
Adler’s Distinction: Language is all that separates us from the lower animals, and from the bureaucrats.
Advertising Rule: In writing a patent-medicine advertisement, first convince the reader that he has the disease he is reading about; secondly, that it is curable.
Air Force Inertia Axiom: Consistency is always easier to defend than correctness.
Allen’s Distinction: The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won’t get much sleep. - Woody Allen
Albrecht’s Law: Social innovations tend to the level of minimum tolerable well-being.
Alden’s Laws: (1) Giving away baby clothes and furniture is the major cause of pregnancy. (2) Always be backlit. (3) Sit down whenever possible.
Andrea’s Admonition: Never bestow profanity more...

A man walks into a palm reader store and asks the reader, "Could you read my palm?" He shows his hand to her, and she says, "But...I can't read your hand." "Why?" the man asks. "I don't understand your handwriting," the woman replies.