Republican Jokes / Recent Jokes
The Better Transportation Association is sponsoring the "Worst Road in Maine" contest. South Carolina governor Mark Sanford says the worst road in Maine is the Appalachian Trail, although its not as bad in Maine as it is when you get to Argentina.
House Speaker Dennis Hastert, R-Ill., expressed concern over what he called "over-friendly" e-mails sent by former Rep. Mark Foley to a former 16-year-old House page, saying that they threatened the GOP's reputation as jerks.
Outgoing U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan gave a farewell address in Missouri, where the audience was packed – perhaps with people trying to get their first glimpse of a black man.
Annan chose to speak at the Truman Presidential Library to contrast the presidential styles of Harry Truman, who ended a just war using the bomb, with George W. Bush, whose war ended up just bombing.
A career statesman, Annan used judicious language in his criticism of the Bush administration. Here then is a dictionary of diplomatic doublespeak:
When Annan said, “America must not sacrifice its democratic ideals while waging war against terrorism,” he meant, “The President is a douchebag.”
When Annan said, “No nation can make itself secure by seeking supremacy over all others,” he meant, “No seriously, he’s a douchebag.”
And when Annan concluded, “The U.S. has a special responsibility to the world because it continues to have extraordinary more...
It was reported that during the GOP convention, to prevent Sarah Palin from pronouncing "nuclear" as "new-cu-lur," like President Bush does, the teleprompter during her speech spelled the word out phonetically. When he heard the news, Bush was proud, saying that it's innovation like this that makes the terrorists hate us so much.
Critics say the survey was flawed becuase researchers used a body diagram of Dick Cheney.
Defense nominee wins unanimous support President Bush's nominee for defense secretary, Robert Gates got unanimous backing Tuesday from the Senate Armed Services Committee. President Bush was extremly happy and told reporters "Gates is great, just look at him. All I have to do is wind him up and he does what I say."
President Bush said attorney general nominee Michael Mukasey shouldn't be expected to answer questions about interrogation techniques on which he hasn't been briefed. A little torture, though, will get him to open up.