Republican Jokes / Recent Jokes

Former eBay Inc Chief Executive Meg Whitman, one of the highest profile Republican technology executives in Silicon Valley, has formed a committee to explore running for governor of California in 2010, the first official step of a campaign. The second step will be starring in'Pumping Iron 2.'

President Bush said of the war in Iraq, " I will not withdraw."
Bush senior said those words 60 years ago when he was on top of Barbara and look where we are now.

In unusually explicit terms, Rumsfeld portrayed the administration's critics as suffering from "moral or intellectual confusion" about what threatens the nation's security and accused them of lacking the courage to fight back
He said, for example, that more media attention was given to U.S. soldiers' abuse of Iraqi prisoners at Abu Ghraib than to the fact that Sgt. 1st Class Paul Ray Smith received the Medal of Honor.
Even Bush was sitting there saying, "he did not just say that, did he?"

And you thought you could tell Republicans from Democrats by how they vote. Not so! Just observe how they act during the holidays:
Republican say "Merry Christmas!"
Democrats say "Happy Holidays!"
Republicans help the poor during the holidays by sending $50 to the Salvation Army.
Democrats help the poor by giving $50, one buck at a time, to panhandlers on the street.
Democrats get back at Republicans on their Christmas list by giving them fruitcakes.

Republicans re-wrap them and send them to in-laws.
Democrats let their kids open all the gifts on Christmas Eve.
Republicans make their kids wait until Christmas morning
When toasting the Holidays, Republicans ask for sherry or mulled wine.
Democrats ask for egg nog.
When not in stores, Republicans use a catalog.
Democrats watch for "incredible tv offers" on late night television.
Democrats do a lot of their shopping at Cost-Co and more...

He's absolutely right; there are just too many greedy people For example, there are actually people who think they need to own six or seven homes.

The Associated Press has officially declared Democratic challenger, Jon Tester, the winner in the U.S. Senate race in Montana, bringing the Senate up to a total of 50 Democrats.
President Bush admitted to being a bit shocked by the news. Not so much by the Democratic takeover of Congress as by the realization that Montana is a real place.
“I thought it was like Narnia,” he was quoted as saying. "Every time I get my coat out of the wardrobe, I think, Maybe this is the time I'll end up in Montana."

The Washington Post has reported that a former page of Mark Foley showed Rep. Jim Kolbe some Internet messages from Foley that had made the page uncomfortable. To ease the pages discomfort, Kolbe then passed the messages on to the Washington Post.