Resolve Jokes / Recent Jokes

New Year's Resolutions for Internet Junkies...I will try to figure out why I *really* need 9 e-mail addresses.I will stop sending e-mail to my wife (husband).I resolve to work with neglected children - my own.I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail.I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person.I resolve to back up my 12GB hard drive daily...well, once a week... okay, monthly then...or maybe...I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hardto estimate since I'm not a clock watcher.When I hear "Where do you want to go today?" I will not reply "MS Tech Support."When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!"I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it.I will think of a password other than "password."I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning... 4:30 is much more practical.I more...

10 -
I will not buy magazines with AOL disks bound in just to get another 1. 44MB disk.
- 9 -
I will stop sending email to my roommate.
- 8 -
I resolve to work with neglected children... my own.
- 7 -
I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm I answer my email.
- 6 -
When I subscribe to a newsgroup or mailing list, I will read all the mail I get from it.
- 5 -
I will stay on the computer as long as I want. What? OK, dear... I'm coming. Never mind.
- 4 -
No more downloads from alt. binaries.*
- 3 -
I resolve to back up my new 1GB hard drive daily... well, once a week... monthly, perhaps...
- 2 -
I will spend less than one hour a day on the Net. Your standard response, "And happy holidays to you too, you bastard"
- 1 -
I won't try to get onto the Netscape ftp site as soon as a new Navigator beta comes out.
- 0 -
When I hear "Where do you want to go more...

New Year's Resolutions for Internet Junkies...

I will try to figure out why I *really* need 9 e-mail addresses.
I will stop sending e-mail to my wife (husband).
I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own.
I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail.
I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person.
I resolve to back up my 12GB hard drive daily... well, once a week... okay, monthly then... or maybe...
I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard
to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher.
When I hear "Where do you want to go today?" I will not reply "MS Tech Support."
When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!"
I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it.
I will think of a password other than "password."
I more...

I will not buy magazines with AOL disks bound in just to get another 1. 44MB disk. I will stop sending email to my roommate. I resolve to work with neglected children... my own. I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm I answer my email. When I subscribe to a news group or mailing list, I will read all the mail I get from it. I will stay on the computer as long as I want. What? OK, dear. .. I'm coming. Never mind. No more downloads from alt. binaries.* I resolve to back up my new 2 GB hard drive daily. .. well, once a week. .. monthly, perhaps. .. I will spend less than one hour a day on the Net. I won't try to get onto the Netscape web site as soon as a new Navigator beta comes out. When I hear "Where do you want to go today?" I won't reply "MS Tech Support." I will read the manual. I will think of a password other than "password." I will limit my top ten lists to ten items.

New Year's Resolutions for Internet Junkies...
I will try to figure out why I *really* need 9 e-mail addresses.
I will stop sending e-mail to my wife (husband).
I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own.
I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail.
I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person.
I resolve to back up my 12GB hard drive daily... well, once a week... okay, monthly then... or maybe...
I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard
to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher.
When I hear "Where do you want to go today?" I will not reply "MS Tech Support."
When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!"
I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it.
I will think of a password other than "password."
I will more...

Q: Why did the blonde resolve to have only three children?A: Because she heard that one child out of every four born was Chinese.

I will not buy magazines with AOL disks bound in just to get another 1.44MB disk.
I will stop sending email to my roommate.
I resolve to work with neglected children... my own.
I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm I answer my email.
When I subscribe to a news group or mailing list, I will read all the mail I get from it.
I will stay on the computer as long as I want. What? OK, dear... I'm coming. Never mind.
No more downloads from alt.binaries.*
I resolve to back up my new 2 GB hard drive daily... well, once a week... monthly, perhaps...
I will spend less than one hour a day on the Net.
I won't try to get onto the Netscape web site as soon as a new Navigator beta comes out.
When I hear "Where do you want to go today?" I won't reply "MS Tech Support."
I will read the manual.
I will think of a password other than "password."
I will limit my top ten lists to ten items.