Retire Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: Why did the robber retire?

A: He just couldn't take it anymore!

Q: Why did the song of the week retire?

A: It was all played out!

Q: Why did the cave explorer retire?

A: Let's not go into that...

Doctors have advised Northeastern tight end Brian Mandeville to retire. His heart ailment could result in instantaneous death, or even worse, he could get drafted by the Lions.

It's better to retire too soon than too late.

Teacher: What Is The Favourite Word For Saurav Ganguly? Student: Retire Me

A long, long time ago…
I can still remember how
Computers used to make me smile.
And I knew if I had my chance,
That I could make electrons dance,
And maybe I’d be happy for a while.

But January made me shiver,
it chilled me deep down in my liver.
Bad news I’d collected…
I couldn’t get connected.

I can’t remember back that day
When I first knew the Y2K.
But something touched me anyway…
The day computers died.

So … bye, bye to the next digit of Pi.
Ran my PC on some DC but the voltage was dry.
And good ol’ boys were sending e-mail replies,
Saying this will be the day I retire…
This will be the day I retire.

Can you write in C plus plus?
And do you have faith in your local bus,
If the driver tells you so?
Do you believe in Compaq’s goals?
Can software save your mortal soul?
And can you teach me how to type real more...