Rick Jokes / Recent Jokes

dave looks at his buddy rick at work and sais....YA NEVER GUESS WHAT I JUST SIGNED UP FOR? rick sais....WHATS THAT? dave sais....PARACHUTE JUMPING.rick sais... YA FOOL...YUR ALMOST 65 YEARS OF AGE AND YA TELL ME YA SIGNED UP FOR THAT... WHY? dave sais....THE WIFE WANTS US TO TRAVEL WHEN WE RETIRE NEXT YEARrick shout out....BUT YUR SCARED OF HEIGHTS dave sais...I KNOW AND ILL BE BACK IN 3 WEEKS HAVING FINALLY CURED THIS PHOBIA SO WE CAN ENJOY RETIREMENT rick wishes him luck and the 2 workers partways 2 weeks pass and rick looks up and sees dave at work and says....HEY....THOUGHT YA SAID YOU WOULD BE GONE FOR 3 WEEKS? dave sais....WELL....IT DIDNT GO AS PLANNED rick sais..SO....WHAT HAPPENED? dave sais... WELL...AFTER THE 1ST WEEK OF INCLASS WORK...I THOUGHT I WAS READY BUT WHEN WE WENT UP IN THE PLANE....AND IT WAS MY TURN TO JUMP... I GOT TOO SICK TO MY STOMACH....I JUST COULDNT rick sais....SO WHAT THEN? dave adds...MORE CLASSWORK TIME... AND WHEN I WENT BACK UP TO JUMP AGAIN... I more...

Rick, fresh out of engineering school, went to a interview for a good paying job.

The company boss asked various questions about him and his education, but then asked him, "What is three times seven?"

"22," Rick replied.

After he left, he double-checked it on his calculator (he KNEW he should have taken it to the interview!) and realized he wouldn't get the job.

About two weeks later, he got a letter that said he was hired for the job!

Not to look a gift horse in the mouth, but he was very curious.

So, the next day, he went in and asked why he got the job, even though he got such a simple question wrong.

The boss shrugged and said, "Well, you were the closest."

Louisville basketball coach Rick Pitino alleges he was extorted by a woman with whom he had sex at a restaurant. Pitino claims he initially did not intend to have sex but then the woman said, "I think I'll have the Italian sausage."

My friend, Rick, is a paramedic here in Miami. A few years ago he answered a call about a man who had a head injury he sustained when some teenagers were throwing eggs at cars. It seems that the egg had come through the open window of the man's car as he was driving at about 45 mph. He had a large swelling on his forehead. In the official report, Rick described the incident as an "egg-noggin".

Rick Pitino held a news conference today to clear up what he is calling a misunderstanding. Apparently the woman mistook Rick for a waiter and asked him if he could "toss her salad"