Rick Jokes

Louisville basketball coach Rick Pitino alleges he was extorted by a woman with whom he had sex at a restaurant. Pitino claims he initially did not intend to have sex but then the woman said, "I think I'll have the Italian sausage."

A fellow stopped at a rural gas station and, after filling his tank, bought a soda and stood by his car drinking it. As he relaxed, he watched two men working along the roadside.
One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then move on. The other man came along behind him and filled the hole in. While one would dig a new hole, the other man would fill in the previous one. The men worked right past the fellow with the soda and continued on down the road.
Filled with curiousity, the fellow headed down the road toward the two men. "Could you tell me what's going on here with this digging?" he asked.
"We're county government workers," one replied.
"But one of you is digging a hole and the other is filling it up. It doesn't look like you're accomplishing anything, except maybe wasting the taxpayers' money," the fellow said.
"Well, sir, usually there are three of us - myself, Rick and Mitch," one of the men explained. more...

2 co-workers DAVE and RICK were having lunch when dave sais..RICK...YA NEVER GUESS WHAT I JUST SIGNED UP FOR? rick sais...WHATS THAT? dave sais PARACHUTE JUMPING. rick laughs and sais,,, YA SILLY OLD FOOL...YUR ALMOST 65, SCARED OF HEIGHTS..WHY THAT? dave adds THE WIFE SAIS WHEN WE RETIRE NEXT YEAR SHE WANTS US TO TRAVEL THE WORLD. rick sais...SO WHEN DOES ALL THIS HAPPEN? dave sais...I LEAVE TOMOROW FOR 3 WEEKS....ILL SEE YA WHEN I GET BACK 2 weeks later rick steps into the lunchroom and finds dave eating his lunch and yells...DAVE BUDDY...THOUGHT YA SAID YA WOULD BE GONE FOR 3 WEEKS? dave looks up and sais...WELL...IT DIDNT GO AS GOOD AS I THOUGHT. rick sais...OH SO WHAT HAPPENED? dave sais....WELL AFTER THE FIRST WEEK OF INCLASS WE ALL WENT UP IN THE PLANE AND WHEN IT WAS MY TURN TO JUMP....I GOT TOO SICK TO MY STOMACH. rick sais....SO WHAT THEY SAY? dave adds....MORE CLASSROOM TIME...SO THE SECOND TIME I GOT UP THERE... I WAS SICK AGAIN. rick sais....SO THEY THREW YA OUT? dave more...

Rick Pitino held a news conference today to clear up what he is calling a misunderstanding. Apparently the woman mistook Rick for a waiter and asked him if he could "toss her salad"

Rick, fresh out of engineering school, went to a interview for a good paying job.

The company boss asked various questions about him and his education, but then asked him, "What is three times seven?"

"22," Rick replied.

After he left, he double-checked it on his calculator (he KNEW he should have taken it to the interview!) and realized he wouldn't get the job.

About two weeks later, he got a letter that said he was hired for the job!

Not to look a gift horse in the mouth, but he was very curious.

So, the next day, he went in and asked why he got the job, even though he got such a simple question wrong.

The boss shrugged and said, "Well, you were the closest."