Riot Jokes / Recent Jokes

The warden said the riot was so ugly he thought he was at a town hall meeting.

The lead singer of 80's heavy metal band Quiet Riot was found dead in his hotel room today in Las Vegas. The only surprise is that it took so long.

The woman called to her husband from the kitchen of the Texas ranch and said, "Bruno, would you please get the car and drive the kids to the back yard so they can play?" In the days of the Old West, bar fights would often spill over into the street and before anyone knew what happened, it was a full-scale riot.
In one such town, the Mayor wired the Texas Rangers for help. On the next train, a Ranger gets off and is greeted by the astonished Mayor.
"They only sent one Ranger???"
The Ranger straightened his hat, brushed the dust from his coat, and replied, "Y'all only got one riot, right?" A Texan was dictating his will to his lawyer: "To my son I leave the sum of five million dollars, and he's damn lucky I didn't cut him off entirely."

The warden, addressing the three instigators of a failed prison riot, said,
"I would like to know two things.First: Why did you revolt?Second: How did you get out of your cell?"One of the three men stepped forward, "Warden, we rebelled because the food is awful.""I see. And what did you use to break the bars?" the warden asked.Replied the spokesman, "French Toast..."

The behavior of a group of long term patients at a psychiatric hospital had been so admirable, the director decided to take them on a field trip to an opening day baseball game. He worked with the group for several weeks beforehand, training them to behave appropriately.
He had accomplished his goal by opening day and the group obeyed every command he would give.
When the National Anthem began, he said "Up Nuts" and they all stood. When the Anthem finished, he said "Down Nuts" and they all sat down in their seats. Noticing how well they were behaving, he decided he would go and get a hot dog and drink. He looked and them and said, "Stay Nuts" and off he went.
When he returned, he was horrified to see a riot had broken out in the stadium section where his patients were. He asked one of the ushers what had happened.
"Everything was going great," the usher explained, "until the vendor came around shouting "Peanuts!"