Roast Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day a little girl was watching her mom make a great roast beef. She cut off the ends, wrapped it in string, seasoned it and set it in the great roasting pan. The little girl asked her mom why she cut off the ends of the roast. Mom replied, after some thought, that it was the way that her mother had done it.That night grandma came to dinner and the little girl and her mom went to her and asked why she had cut the end off of the roast before cooking. After some thought grandma replied, that was the way her mother had done it.Now great grandmother was quite old and in a nursing home. But the little girl went with her mom and grandma to see her and again asked the question.Grandma looked at them a bit annoyed and said, "So it would fit in the pan, of course."

A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter.
Fortunately, the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a neighbor of his. The neighbor happened to be a lawyer.
Incensed at the theft, the butcher called up his neighbor and said, "Hey, if your dog stole a roast from my butcher shop, would you be liable for the cost of the meat?"
The lawyer replied, "Of course, how much was the roast?" "$7.98." said the butcher.
A few days later the butcher received a check in the mail for $7.98.
Attached to it was an invoice. It read: Legal Consultation Service $150

A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter. Fortunately,
the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a neighbour of his. The neighbour
happened to be a lawyer.
Incensed at the theft, the butcher called up his neighbour and said, "Hey, if
your dog stole a roast from my butcher shop, would you be liable for the cost of
the meat?"
The lawyer replied, "Of course, how much was the roast?"
"$7.98."
A few days later the butcher received a check in the mail for $7.98. Attached to
it was an invoice that read, "Legal Consultation Service: $150."

A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter. Fortunately, the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a neighbor of his. The neighbor happened to be a lawyer.
Incensed at the theft, the butcher called up his neighbor and said, "Hey, if your dog stole a roast from my butcher shop, would you be liable for the cost of the meat?"
The lawyer replied, "Of course, how much was the roast?"
"$7.98." said the butcher.
A few days later the butcher received a check in the mail for $7.98.
Attached to it was an invoice that read: Legal Consultation Service: $150

A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter. Fortunately, the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a neighbor of his. The neighbor happened to be a lawyer.
Incensed at the theft, the butcher called up his neighbor and said, "Hey, if your dog stole a roast from my butcher shop, would you be liable for the cost of the meat?" The lawyer replied, "Of course, how much was the roast?" "$7.98."
A few days later the butcher received a check in the mail for $7.98. Attached to it was an invoice that read: Legal Consultation Service: $150 .

A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter.Fortunately, the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to aneighbour of his. The neighbour happened to be a lawyer. Incensedat the theft, the butcher called up his neighbour and said, "Hey, if your dog stole a roast from my butcher shop, would you be liablefor the cost of the meat?" The lawyer replied, "Of course, how muchwas the roast?" "$7.98." A few days later the butcher received acheck in the mail for $7.98. Attached to it was an invoice that read:"Legal Consultation Service: $150."

wats the differnece between roast beef and pea soup?
you can roast beef, but u cant pee soup...