Runner Jokes / Recent Jokes
One day while sleeping with his neighbor's wife, Ralph heard his neighbor's car pull in the driveway.
"Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window, Ted's home early," she yelled. Ralph looked out the window and said, "I can't jump out the window! It's raining like hell out there."
She cried, "If Ted catches us in here, he will kill both of us!"
So, Ralph grabbed his clothes and jumped out the window. When he landed outside he found himself in the middle of a marathon race, so he started running along side the others, only he was still in the nude, carrying his clothes on his arm. One of the runners asked him, "Do you always run in the nude?"
Ralph answered, while gasping for air, "Oh yes, it feels so free having the air blow over your skin while you are running."
Then another runner asked, "Do you always run carrying your clothes on your arm?"
Ralph answered breathlessly, "Oh yes, that way I more...
Invitational Challenge, come up with terribly inappropriate
Christmas gift ideas.
Honorable Mentions
Supersoaker 9000
For use on those hard to reach targets; NFL referees, low flying
planes, and many more. At close range it can strip paint clean
rusty grills, and dig utility trenches.
The Laff-O-Minit Jajic Spellin' Tootor Doggie Dentist
Kids learn about dentistry on the family pooch.
Cuisin-Art
Turns mommy's food processor into a spinning paint tool.
Water Retention Wanda
Teaches kids the principles of the calendar.
Advanced Play Medical Kit
Includes colonoscope and speculum.
Chocolate Covered lead soldiers.
Bungeroo
Kid sized bungee kit for second story bedrooms.
Islamic Strip Poker
Lose a hand, lose a hand.
And the winners are
4th Runner Up
Li'l Naturalist Hornet Farm
3rd Runner Up
A Pee Wee Herman pull toy
2nd Runner Up
The Duncan Yo -- Goes more...
A numbers mob was looking for a runner to pick up betting cash in a new location( A very rich area - Expected around $200,000 in cash daily ). A man was chosen but never showed up with the cash. Mr. Big asked the guy in charge of finding the runner, "Where is my money." The man replied that he didn't know and said that he would find him.
The man located the new runner and brought him to Mr. Big's office. Mr. Big said, "Where the fuck is my money? ". The runner looked puzzled and started talking in sign language. Mr. Big said, "What the fuck is this?"
The man in charge of hiring the runner explained that he was deaf and dumb and was the only person that he could find to take the job.
Mr. Big said, "Do you know how to read sign language?"
The man said, " No, but I'll find someone who can. ".
He comes back with a female interpreter and Mr. Big asks her to ask the runner where his money is. The girl starts asking him in more...