Sammy Jokes / Recent Jokes
Once upon a time, two little boys, Sammy and Tim, were sharing a room in the hospital. As they were getting to know each other a little bit, Sammy eventually asked Tim, "Hey Tim, what're you in for?" "I'm getting my tonsils out - I'm a little worried," said Tim. "Oh don't worry about it. I had my tonsils out and it was a blast! I got to eat all the ice cream and jello I wanted for two weeks!"Oh yeah?'' replied Tim. "That's not half-bad. Hey, Sammy, how about you? What're you here for?" "I'm getting a circumcision, whatever that is," Sammy answered."Oh my god, circumcision? I got one of those when I was a baby and I couldn't walk for two years!"
Once upon a time, there was a girl... "Once upon a time, there was a girl who was sleeping in her bedroom... SHE was snoring loudly... Mom regonised the noise and sehe went upstairs to see what was the noise...
After a while she saw that the girl was like a chicken!!!
Little Sammy was studying Torah for his Bar Mitzvah and was asked what he had learned in Hebrew school one day.' Well, momma, the rabbi told us how GoD sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt.' When they got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge and all the Jews walked across safely. Then the Egyptians followed and Moses used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters for air cover. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge, drown the Egyptians, and the Israelites were saved.'
' Now, Sammy, is that really what the rabbi taught you?' his mother asked.
' Well, no, momma, but if I told it the way the rabbi did, you'd never believe it!'
Norm Peterson's Famous Quotes (from TV's' Cheers')
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' Can I draw you a beer, Norm? '
' No, I know what they look like. Just pour me one.'
' How's a beer sound, Norm?'
' I dunno. I usually finish them before they get a word in.'
' What's shaking, Norm?'
' All four cheeks and a couple of chins.'
' What would you say to a nice beer, Normie?'
' Going Down?'
' What's new, Normie?'
' Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach and they're
demanding beer.'
' What'll it be, Normie?'
' Just the usual, Coach. I'll have a froth of beer and a snorkel.'
' What would you say to a beer, Normie?'
' Daddy wuvs you.'
' What'd you like, Normie?'
' A reason to live. Give me another beer.'
' What'll you have, Normie?'
' Well, I'm in a gambling mood, Sammy. I'll take a
glass of whatever comes out more...
A young fellow by the name of Sammy liked to hang out at Mom and Pop's Grocery Store. Pop didn't know what Sammy's problem was, but the other boys would tease him all the
time, calling him Slow Sammy, and punching him on the shoulder as they passed. To mock him for being slow, they would offer him a dime and a nickel, telling him he could
have just one. They said he always took the nickel because it was bigger.One day after Sammy took the nickel, Pop pulled him to one side and said, "Son, don't you know they're making fun of you? They think you don't know that the dime is worth more than the nickel. Are you really grabbing the nickel because it's bigger, or what?""No," Sammy said, "but if I took the dime they'd quit doing it!"
Woody: “What’s shakin’ mister Peterson? ”
Norm: “All four cheeks and a couple of chins. ”
Woody: “How’s it goin’ Mr. P.? ”
Norm: “It’s a dog-eat-dog world out there and I’m wearin’ Milkbone underwear. ”
Woody: “Can I draw you a beer Mr. P.? ”
Norm: “I know what they look like, just give me one. ”
Woody: “What’s goin’ down Mr. P.? ”
Norm: “My butt on that stool. ”
Norm: “I’m the ideal weight for someone 10 feet tall. ”
Coach: Can I draw you a beer, Norm?
Norm: No, I know what they look like. Just pour me one.
Coach: How about a beer, Norm?
Norm: Hey I’m high on life, Coach…. Of course, beer is my life.
Coach: How’s a beer sound, Norm?
Norm: I dunno. I usually finish them before they get a word in.
Coach: What’s up, Norm?
Norm: Corners of my mouth, Coach.
Coach: Normie, Normie, could this be Vera?
Norm: With a lot of expensive surgery, more...