Sammy Jokes / Recent Jokes

Sammy Sosa used a special baste on his turkey that made the dark meat white.

Teacher: What time do you think Adam was born Sammy?

Sammy: In the afternoon.

Teacher: What makes you think that?

Sammy: Because he was born just before Eve.

After tucking their three-year-old child Sammy in for bed one night, his parents heard sobbing coming from his room. Rushing back in, they found him crying hysterically. He managed to tell them that he had swallowed a penny and he was sure he was going to die. No amount of talking was helping. His father, in an attempt to calm him down, palmed a penny from his pocket and pretended to pull it from Sammy`s ear. Sammy was delighted. In a flash, he snatched it from his father`s hand, swallowed it, and cheerfully demanded, "Do it again, Dad!"

Teacher: Who was that on the phone, Sammy?
Sammy: No one important, Miss Smith. Just some man who said it was long distance from Australia, so I told him I knew that already!

Sammy has stolen the rabbi's gold watch. He didn't feel too good about it, so he decided, after a sleepless night, to go to the rabbi. "Rabbi, I stole a gold watch."
"But Sammy! That's forbidden! You should return it immediately!"
"What shall I do?"
"Give it back to the owner."
"Do you want it?"
"No, I said return it to its owner."
"But he doesn't want it."
"In that case, you can keep it."

Molly, age 9, and Sammy, age 10, are sitting on the front porch swing. Sammy says to Molly, "Screw you, Molly."

A minute goes by and Molly replies, "Screw YOU, Sammy."

A moment or two and Sammy says, "Screw YOU, Molly."

In response, "Screw *YOU*, Sammy," Molly says.

After about ten minutes of this, Molly's mom comes out on the porch and says, "What on earth are you kids doing?"

They reply in unison, "We're having oral sex!"

Sammy: My parents are sending me to camp. Tammy: Why? Do you need a vacation? Sammy: No. They do!