Sandwich Jokes / Recent Jokes

A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead.As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!"The panda yells back at the bartender, "Hey man, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!"The bartender opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda:"A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.

There was a fly siting on a leaf and was very hot. He said to himself if i drop 3 inches i could cool off by the mist from the lake. There was a fish in the water that said to himself, if the fly drops 3 inches then i can eat it. There was a bear in the woods beside the lake that said to himself, if the fly drops 3 inches, the fish will jump out the water and i can eat it. There was a hunter that said to himself, if the fly drops 3 inches the fish will jump out the water and the bear will step out into the opening and i can shoot it and have a real meal instead of this cheese sandwich. Its almost over. There was a mouse that was below the hunter that said to himself, if the fly drops 3 inches then the fish will jump out the water, the bear will eat the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, and I can run off with the cheese sandwich. Last one. There was a cat that was behind the mouse that said to himself, if the fly drops three inches, the fish will jump out the water and eat it, the more...

A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich.
He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead.
As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!"
The panda yells back at the bartender, "Hey man, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!"
The bartender opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda: "A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves".

There was a fly sitting on a leaf by the lake. The fly was feeling really hot and kept thinking to himself, "gosh... if I go down three inches... I will be able to feel the mist from the water."
There was a fish in the water thinking, "gosh... if that fly goes down three inches I can eat him." And the fly knew it.
There was a bear on the shore thinking, "gosh... if that fly goes down three inches... and the fish grabs the fly... I can eat that fish."
There was a hunter on the bank of the lake getting ready to eat his sandwich thinking, "gosh... if that fly goes down three inches... and that fish grabs that fly... and that bear grabs the fish... I can shoot that bear and have me a really good lunch."
There was a mouse by the hunter's foot thinking... "gosh... if that fly goes down three inches... and that fish grabs that fly... and that bear grabs that fish... the hunter will drop his cheese sandwich."
A cat lurking more...

There was a scotish man, a english man and a irish man, one day at work they were having there lunch the scottish man had pickle sandwichs and said if i get the same sandwich tomorrow he'd kill himself and the english man got ham sandwich and said he'd kill himself if he had ham sandwich tomorrow and and the irish man got cheese sandwich and said the same as the scottish and english man.
the next day they all the same sandwich so they kill thereself at the funeral the scottish mans wife said only if he told me he didnt like pickle, the english mans wife said only if he told me he didnt like hamand the irish man wife said he made his own sandwichs

A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich.He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead.As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!"The panda yells back at the bartender, "Hey man, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!"The bartender opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda: "A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves".

A panda walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a sandwich. He eats the
sandwich, pulls out a gun, and shoots the waiter dead.
As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey! Where are you going?
You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!"
The panda yells back at the bartender, "Hey, man, I'm a panda! Look it
up!"
The bartender opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda,
"A tree-dwelling marsupial of Asian origin characterized by distinct black and
white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves."