Santa Banta Jokes / Recent Jokes

Santa Singh was having a tough time lugging his lumpy,
oversized travel bag onto the plane. Helped by a flight
attendant,
he finally managed to stuff it in the overhead bin.
`Do you always carry such heavy luggage?`
she sighed with a smile.
`Bas! Bahut hua!` replied Santa.
`Next time, I`m riding in the bag,
and Banta can buy the ticket!`

Banta was not home at his usual hour, and his wife, Preeto, was fuming, as the clock ticked later and later. Finally, about 3: 00 AM she heard a noise at the front door, and as she stood at the top of the stairs, there was Banta, drunk as a skunk, trying to navigate the stairs.
"Do you realize what time it is?" she asked.
He answered, "Don`t get excited. I`m late because I bought something for the house."
Immediately her attitude changed, and as she ran down the stairs to meet him halfway, she asked, "What did you buy for the house, dear?"
Banta`s answer was, "A round of drinks!"

Santa came home from a secret two year mission only to find his wife, Jeeto, with a new born baby. Furious, he was determined to track down the father to extract revenge.
"Was it my friend Banta", he demanded.
"No! " his weeping wife replied.
"Was it my friend Ramta then?" he asked.
"No! !!" she said even more upset.
"Well which one of my no good friends did this then?" he asked.
"Don`t you think I have any friends of my own?" Jeeto snapped.

Santa is driving past the state mental hospital when his left rear tire suffers a flat. While Santa is changing the tire, another car goes by, running over the hub cap in which Santa was keeping the lug nuts. The nuts are all knocked into a nearby storm drain.
Santa is at a loss for what to do and is about to go call a cab when he hears a shout from behind the hospital fence, where one of the inmates has been watching the whole thing.
"Hey! Why don`t you just take one lug nut off each of the other three wheels? That`ll hold your tires on until you can get to a garage or something."
Santa is startled by the patient`s seeming rationality, but realizes the plan will work, and installs the spare tire without incident.
Before he leaves, he calls back to the patient. "You know, that was pretty sharp thinking. Why do they have you in there?"
The patient smiles and says, "I`m in here because I`m crazy, not because I`m stupid."

Santa Singh comes home from an exhausting day at work,
plops down on the couch in front of the television,
and tells his wife, `Get me a beer before it starts.`
The wife sighs and gets him a beer. Fifteen minutes
later, he says, `Get me another beer before it starts.`
She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams
it down next to him. He finishes that beer and a
few minutes later says, `Quick, get me another beer,
it`s going to start any minute.`
The wife is furious. She yells at him
`Is that all you`re going to do tonight?
Drink beer and sit in front of that TV?
You`re nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob,
and furthermore. ..`
Santa sighs and says, `It`s started... `

Banta wanted to get his beautiful wife, Preeto, something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decided to buy her a cell phone.
He showed her the phone and explained to her all of its features.
Preeto was excited to receive the gift and simply adored her new phone.
The next day Preeto went shopping. Her phone rang and, to her astonishment, it was Banta on the other end.
"Hi Preeto," he said, "how do you like your new phone?"
Preeto replied, "I just love it! It`s so small and your voice is clear as a bell, but there`s one thing I don`t understand though..."!
"What`s that, sweetie?" asked Banta.
"How did you know I was at Sukhna Lake?"

There was this case in the hospital`s Intensive care ward where patients always died in the same bed and on Sunday morning at 11 A. M., regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths took place at 11 AM.
A worldwide expert team was constituted and they decided to go down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents. So on the next Sunday morning few minutes before 11 A. M., all doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about.
Some were holding prayer books and other holy objects to ward off evil.
Just when the clock struck 11 Santa, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system & plugged in the vacuum cleaner.