Shame Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: What's the difference between sin and shame?
A: It is a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.

Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips are moving.
Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.
Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.
Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.
Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
A: Cut the rope.
Q: Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?
A1: Take your foot off his head.
A2: No. Good!
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of dung?
A: The bucket.
Q: What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?
A: When a bus load of lawyers goes off a cliff.
Q: What is the definition of a "crying shame"?
A: There was an empty seat.
Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?
A: An offer you can't understand
Q. Why is it that many lawyers more...

Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start!
Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips are moving.
Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer
in the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.
Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.
Q: What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.
Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
A: Cut the rope.
Q: Do you know how to save a drowning laywer?
A1: Take your foot off his head.
A2: No? Good!
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of dung?
A: The bucket.
Q: What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?
A: When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
Q: What is the definition of a "crying shame"?
A: There was an empty seat.
Q: What do you get when you more...

Fool me once shame on you
Fool me twice shame on me
Fool me thrice you are not nice
Fool me four times and I am gonna cap your sorry ass.

Q. What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A. A good start!
Q. How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A. His lips are moving.
Q. What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A. There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
Q. Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A. Professional courtesy.
Q. What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A. Not enough sand.
Q. What do you buy a friend graduating from Law School?
A. A Lobotomy.
Q. How do you save five drowning lawyers?
A. Who cares?
Q. What do you call a block of cement containing ten lawyers?
A. A waste of cement.
Q. How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?
A1. Shoot him before he hits the water.
A2. Take your foot off his head.
Q. How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
A. Cut the rope.
Q. What do you do if you run over a Lawyer?
A1. Back over him to make sure.
A2. Make more...

Q: What's the difference between sin and shame?
A: It is a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.
Q: What's the speed limit of sex?
A: 68; at 69 you have to turn around.
Q: What's the ultimate rejection?
A: When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.
Q: Why did Raggedy Ann get thrown out of the toy box?
A: Because she kept sitting on Pinocchio's face, and moaning, "Lie to me!"
Q: Why is air a lot like sex?
A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
Q: If there is H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside?
A: K9P.
Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water?
A: "How can you expect me to get hard so fast? I just got laid a minute ago."
Q: What did the potato chip say to the battery?
A: If you're Eveready, I'm Frito Lay.
Q: What's another name for pickled bread?
A: Dill-dough

Young Ahmed Ben Bella loved all kinds of beans, and this understandably gave him embarrassing problems with flatulence. Out in the desert this did not matter - except to his camel, who sometimes dragged his nose in the sand after one of Ahmed Ben Bella's more worthy efforts. But, in his village Ahmed Ben Bella often brought shame upon himself and his family when he could not control himself.
One day Ahmed Ben Bella felt a mighty fart coming on. He was in the middle of the marketplace and made every effort to get through the great throng so as to not disgrace himself. But, as fate would have it, Ahmed Ben Bella's efforts were for naught. And, it was a mighty fart indeed: it blew over several of the shopkeepers stalls and dropped no fewer than three donkeys to their knees.
There was nothing to do but leave his home village in disgrace, and for fifty years Ahmed Ben Bella roamed the earth, hoping that the shame he had brought down upon himself would be forgotten. Finally, as an more...