Sleeping Jokes / Recent Jokes
A friend of ours sat down next to another passenger on a train recently and couldn't help overhearing his conversation out the window with a man standing on the station platform.
"Thanks for putting me up while I was here, Sam," said the passenger.
"Glad to do it," said the other man.
"Thanks for the food and the drinks-everything was wonderful."
"It was a pleasure," said the man.
"And thank your wife, Sam-she was great," said the passenger, as the train began pulling out. "I really enjoyed sleeping with her."
Our friend was rather taken aback by this exchange and he turned to his fellow passenger and said: "Pardon me sir, but I couldn't help overhearing your conversation. Did I understand you to say that you enjoyed sleeping with your friend's wife?"
"Well," said the fellow passenger, "I didn't realty enjoy it. But Sam is a hell of a nice guy."
"They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
"This is just a minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to."
"Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper."
"I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!"
"This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!"
"Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot."
"I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance."
"Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."
"The coffee machine is broken...."
"Amen."
A man joins a Tibetan temple. He takes a vow of silence but is allowed to say two words every year. After an arduous 12 months of eating rice, sleeping on a wooden bed with a raggedy blanket, and working 14-hour days in the field, the man goes to the head monk and says, “More blankets. ”
Another year passes, and he visits the head monk and says, “More food. ” The man goes through one more year eating good meals and sleeping well, but he’s drained by the long days of work. He calls on the head monk and uses his two words to say, “I’m leaving. ”
“Good, ” the head monk replies. “You’ve done nothing but bitch since you got here. ”
There was once a little girl in Religion Class one day sleeping peacfully then the teacher asked her "Who created the earth?" The boy behind the girl stuck a pin in Her and she woke up and said "God Almighty" The teacher said "very good" and the girl returned to her sleep then the teacher asked her "who was the leader of the twelve apostles" the boy behind the girl stuck the pin in her again and she woke up and said "Jesus Christ" "very good" said the teacher and the wee girl returned to sleeping, then the teacher asked her "what did Eve say to Adam after they had their 23rd child" the boy behind her stuck the pin in her once again and she woke up and said" If you stick that thing into me one more time I will break it in half!!!